My mind, My desires are all in your command?

My life and my joy are all in your hand

You are my lord

I stumbled upon your feet

I won't let go

You are my light

I will serve you all my life

Use me, for I am your device

My mind, My desires are all in your command

You are the one to direct my destiny

My destiny to glorify you

These are a loose translation of a song that I happened (to be forced) to listen over and over again the last week. I have no grudge about how and why this song kept being played. 

What bothered me most are the lyrics.... Is this a song about the monster who loves its creator Dr. Frankenstein? Is this song about a slave loving its master? or a suicide bomber?

What is wrong with the whole lyrics?!!! Why are they happily surrendering their mind, desire and action to someone who have a magic remote-control upon them?

I know it sounds beautiful if your mind, desire and action are totally into good deeds, but isn't it super "lazy" to ask someone you worship so much to just puppet-ing your life?

Isn't that insulting the creator? He created you as an intelligent soul (or so it's written) for God's sake!

What if your life doesn't go as smooth as what you thought He planned?

Would you blame him? 

Don't get me wrong, I was tempted too. It sounds "good" to surrender yourself and get a insurance policy. Beautiful life plan was written beforehand, all you need to do is just ensure you are alive to enjoy the perfect plan.

My life was always above average, so it feels good to be one of the chosen ones. The creator loves me. But it was too good to be taken as it is, isn't it?

Just like a manager, sure he/she will direct you to achieve a certain goal. Commands, rules, SOP and target!

Whether the goal is achieved or not, depends on the work of each individual in the team. The manager expects everybody can do their roles independently and responsibly.

There is no way, the manager micro-managed every single soul in his/her team. If he/she need to do so, why would he/she hire you anyway? Would it be better if the manager do a one-man-show, rather than babysit others?

I haven't no problem at all with other belief, I just find this particular song offensive and degrading. It is actually counter attack themselves. By now, sure you realised it is a worship/gospel/religious song. 

Whatever what your belief is, your mind, desires and action are totally your responsibility. 

Integrity, Courage and Persistence

In the past years I have come across some people that I admire most for their integrity, courage and persistence. Something that I don't have much in me.

Facing a situation where they were being held up against difficult situations: giving up to what "society" dictates and expects you to do, or hold up your chin and walk against the wind.

These people I mention before, actually braved up themselves and stand up for their idealism despite being labelled as the snobs. Maybe I shouldn't use the word "brave". It is always been their characters to stand up to what they believe in.
Brave... is something that I lack off

In their conquests, sometimes... they lose "friends", sometimes... they draw friends and foes to be a constructive life companions. I am always amazed... it is a gamble.
I hate losing friends, even asshole ones. Not that I love assholes... but there are not many of genuine friends out there; by implementing their strict attitudes, I would be left with only a few souls beside me.

But then again, they have proven that life would be better off without dragging a huge cart of "useless" friends. Life would be much better with friends whom we can walk together hand in hand.

Easier said than done, for me. Not easy. I now look like I am throwing a circle of salt to ward off demons. A total paranoid.
But they have proven that this idealism can be done. They survived it. They lose "friends" along the way, but none of them regret of the loss.

It is a glorious win, it is never a loss.

Giraffe!!!

Look what I whipped up on weekend... a striking red orange-y giraffe

And what's more rewarding is that lil' Nara loves playing with it :)

Next, look I made from my fabric scraps... a bigger giraffeeee!!!!!
I think I did quite well... for giraffes. Need to move on.
Hope my mood stay longer this time so I can make more handicraft

A New Perspective

Got this from the net.
Seeing in a new perspective.

More Blacks: Ayam Cemani Teenagers & Babies

teenage ayam cemani

One month old chicks are ugly. They look slightly bald on their back, pointy spiky neck, long awkward legs. They just look odd... Hahaha
But they are so sweet, maybe cos' I handled them since chicks, they are just super friendly. They peck food from my hand. They let me stroke and carry them. Super sweet!

I have 3 teenagers at the moment. This is what a teenage ayam cemani looks like :)

ayam cemani babies :)

And I have more a-week-old chicks, 5 at the moment, hopefully more to come.
They was incubated by surrogate mother-one of the White ladies, again.
Very cute! They look like a charcoal-cotton-balls, if it ever exists.
Here are some of their pics.


The reason why there are only small batch of chicks, ie: 3, 4 or 5 chicks per batch, is because our Mrs.Black laid A LOT in a clutch, and I think it is just impossible for her to warm all her clutch. So I share her eggs to White ladies. Since Whites are ayam kate-smaller breed, I only give 4-6 eggs per brooding hen.

Saggy Belly?

Here is a recent pic of Mrs. Black. See her saggy belly and the down-molting? I was kinda worry about it.
Is it normal for an old hen to have saggy abdomen or losing a bit of her luscious down?
But she's not even old, she's only 2 years old (or a bit less)
My other 2 cemani hens are younger, so I don't have enough samples to compare their body shapes.

So, a few days ago, on one fine morning, I get her and feel her belly, it was not rock hard nor squishy soft. It was as firm as other part of her body, Good measure for normal muscle.
But then... at the afternoon, I found her laid an egg. I couldn't feel it in the morning! How could it be?

I end up googling the net for more references. It is scary, some said it's a sign of egg binding, sick hen, or water retention...

I had whole morning watching her today. She looked totally fine, doesn't seems to have walking/standing difficulties, still very active, feeding very well. But she did go up and down to nesting box.
So, I tried to get her again, and this time, I put my finger into her vent (that's what those people on net do for their sick hens!!!) And I could feel an egg. Yey!
I realised why I couldn't feel the egg before cos I was stroking her underbelly, but apparently the egg is a bit on top, near her vent.
And her vent looks very nice, no blockage. It is very clean looking.

After the "assessment" session, to apologize for all the discomfort that she might feel, I gave her more snacks, which she happily nibble. No hard feeling, k?
And not long after that, she went back to her nesting box, and laid another egg.

So, I guess it is just her body shape, eh? Just a post-natal figure in humans?
Am I worrying over nothing?
She is a heavy-layer, she usually produce 40+ eggs in a clutch. Her egg-laying pattern is a bit messed up, not everyday - she does it every alternate days, sometimes in the morning, sometime in the afternoon.
Maybe she's just having a hormone imbalance. As long as there's no harm to her.

Mr. Black Ayam Cemani - The Macho Man who attacked me

Oh, one more thing.
During the vent-assessment, she made panic sound, which is understandable. But, Mr.Black came and attacked me, a few times. Gosh, he is so furious. It kinda hurts when he attacked me. But it is a good thing to know that he is such an alpha-male that protect his ladies :) Nice huh?