Wishful Gaze

In front of me, there's innocent eyes from the boy that I can"t bear to see, I was trying to look away, denying what I see. I was holding my breath as I walk into those ruined rooms, how can they sleep in there? And again, I need to face my biggest fear: to see into their eyes. Those eyes that showed a big expectation from each person who came to visit them and promised to help them, and most of them never come back. Those poor children..

It"s all started last Sunday, my friend V asked me to join her to visit an orphanage, she brought some cakes, snacks and milk powder for them. Seriously, I was very uncomfortable to be there, it is not because of the kids' attitude, of course, so far, they have been very welcoming to strangers (I guess they get used to get visited)
 

Well, before this,  I've visited this particular orphanage before with DaAi team. Exactly like my previous visit,  I didn't interact much to the kids unless they speak to me first, it makes me feel uneasy. I refused to say or do much in the orphanage, I also refused to create too much attention about the visit. ... not because I'm cold... but I really care about them in a different way.
 

Here is the picture of 2 youngest member of the orphanage.

These 2 babies that strike me the most. Both were surrendered by their poor parents whom unable to provide necessary care for them. I know their parents didn't have evil means abandoning them. At least in the orphanage, they can get necessary food and clothing and companion of orphanage brothers and sisters. Most parents will ensure their kids will get the best nutrition in their kids' early age. I am not quite sure how much nutrition the babies will get, but I am sure they'll stay alive.

It is painful to see that the kids live in poor condition, wearing either too big or too small clothing with holes here and there, eating whatever provided, sleeping anywhere they can find. More pics here...

I don't want to give any hope to them for that I cannot commit, not that I don't want to...
I wouldnt complain much, cos I cannot help much
I cannot promise much too..

How can I help, I cannot always provide them.
I hate the feeling of this hopelessness... but in my deepest heart, i really want the best for them..