It is finally happening, a family gathering celebrating love
of my cousin. It is where I can see faces of those related to me by blood, yet
I hardly recognize their faces. It is also the time where I get to be
questioned, “When is your turn?”
I am the eldest of the L’s 2nd gen that is
unmarried. I am not planning to. I am very very lucky that my parents do not do
an act to frame me. Love my folks!!! As
I always said, they know me well, and they probably have given up the hope of
seeing me in white dress.
The cousin next in line, wasn’t so lucky, she had her
mom (my aunt) to questioned her in public, “When is your turn?”, “When can
mommy have this kind of event?” etc etc etc. It is so humiliating!
I met my elder cousin who (maybe) happily-married, who
questioned about my ‘singleness’. I said, “I’ve had enough, I’ve seen enough,
Marriage is not my cup of tea”
And she replied me, “You have to face the fact, that this is
the path that we all must take. Do not go against the current.” I am truly
surprised to get that answer from someone I used to look up to. I just can’t
understand why she take the ‘common’ path. She could do much bigger things.
Anyway, the wedding was a true parade of PDA – public display
of affection: series of lovey-dovey act of 2 human beings who are keen to announce
to the world that they are in love. A friend asked me if I wanted to be in
bride’s shoes – to be the princess of the day. The answer is, “No… I cannot
picture myself parading around. Not me.”
Maybe my dear one is correct,
The Path is against-the-current. I don’t know where I am now. I am standing
here, not flowing with the current, yet not strong enough to fight it. I am
stuck, for the moment.
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