Bending over into seating position; rear pouting back; one hand reaching forward, pressure applied on its palm and fingertips. Heart racing, Eye widening, ears alert , breathing heavily, focus. Focus on fingertips pressure, focus on mind, focus on tummy breathing.
Note: Sometimes, heavy breathing is not applicable at all; as you might breathe-in some toxic fumes from your neighbours.
Other hand reaching back with some paper on its finger. Do back and forth movement, repeat if necessary.
Note: Sometimes, this position is initiated with the hand holding a piece of paper, placed over nose and mouth just to ease the breathing. (it also works to prevent puking during this exercise)
The above description is not about exotic yoga moves. I have to admit that I do this exercise most of the time while I am in public toilet. I am not being ecstatic about yoga in toilet, but sadly this position is about me: trying to answer my nature call whilst ensuring no one break- in.
During my travelling time, visiting the ladies toilet is one of the main destinations, of course, queuing is unavoidable. Ladies for some unknown reason would spend at least 3 minutes in the toilet. I usually take less than 1 minute; I have no clue what they are doing inside. For my speedy pee-ing, I once received a comment “Did you clean yourself thoroughly? Why are you so quick in the toilet?” (--> this comment is from a man. WTF?!!!)
Of course the long queue moves slowly, for some people with loose sphincter might turns rowdy, they bang the door impatiently, yelling people to be quick, or the worst act is to
BREAK IN !!!
Here are some of my experiences:
1. Just entered a toilet, suddenly get a knock-knock.
Me: Yes, please wait. I am still inside
Ma’am: O… sorry dear
(trying to open the door, and more louder knock)
Me: I am still here. Please wait!!!
Ma’am: O… sorry dear. I thought you are done. Why are you still inside?
WTF. There’s only 1 door at that tiny cublicle, where else I can go? I flew? OMG!!!
2. Just entered an exotic restaurant toilet. No lock. Big room. Ms.ABC (not real name) just finished her business, and suddenly without any voice, without any knock. My fellow travelling partner pushed the door wide, looked at Ms.ABC and said “HAHA, I saw you V”. WTF!!! Lucky it wasn't me, I would've killed someone.
3. An absent-minded-aunty broke into my hotel room (and I dunno how she entered without key, I swear I lock it). I was in the toilet washing my hands, when I heard the room’s door is opened. I rushed out and put the security chain. I pretend that I dunno what’s going on. But when I went out to gather with the group. She boasted that “Ming2 was shitting, and I almost caught her”. WTF!!!
And many more gross stories about breaking in into toilet.
But my best experience is when I was in Holland. Stupid me, when I was given laxative pills, I took it. And guess what, I had a terrible bowel movement. Lucky me, we were on “shopping time”, the whole group was concentrated at one particular shop. I ran off to the neighbouring shop, asked for a toilet and do my business. Feel so peaceful afterwards. Suddenly, the door was banged rudely. And I quickly get out. There were 2 ladies covering their nose promptly looked at each other. And as I go out, they were arguing:
You go first!/
No, you go first/
So smelly/
You flush again/
You…. (and they speak Medanese Chinese damn loud)
HAHAHA… The most satisfying "unloading" experience
