Camera Guilt

I have been on constant search for a perfect camera over these past few weeks. I've been reading more camera reviews than I ever been my whole life.

Yesterday, I was reflecting my fate with camera, then I remember my dark past about it. Something that I put aside on my memory.

Years ago, when I was still in my uni, I worked part-time as a waitress at a small Malaysian restaurant. That restaurant somehow cater as a black market too. Maybe because most of its customers are Asians, we are somehow fond of something illegal. Apart from super delicious foods, my boss provided whatever you need for.

So, they provides non-taxed cigarettes, perfumes and liquors (usually bought from Airport Duty Free Shops & carried by students or stewards/ess)

Then, they also sell stolen goods. U can get any kinds of second hand phones, laptops, even projectors. All are stolen goods. Some are password-locked, but you can easily unlock it somewhere in Chinatown. I once saw the "thief" delivered a plastic bag of stolen goods. It was sold per bag! (which easily contained 20 or more phones). The prices were crazy! 

One day at work, I saw a SLR camera. At that time, there were no such things as digital camera yet. I was really fond of that camera. So, I bought it from my boss, I can't remember how much it exactly costs me, maybe around AUD200 (maybe more). It was a big money for me. I can't remember the brand or the lens too. I did a lot of thinking when I wanna get it. It was beautiful, came with a seasoned leather case. 

I brought it home and opened it up. Don't ask me why I didn't check it at the restaurant, I don't know why I didn't. So, I opened it up, and what I saw is... someone put a name & a phone number on the camera. Also on inner side of the case, it was written "If misplaced or stolen, please contact xxx on xxxx"  (well, not the exact words, but something like that). I felt very very guilty holding that camera.

I wanted to call the lady (yes, it was a lady's name), and give it back. But I also worry about my hard-earned AUD200. 

If I returned the camera to her, Would she give back my AUD200? 

Would she ask me where I got it? 

Would she think I was the thief? 

Would my boss get into trouble?

I was in limbo! I brought the camera back to the restaurant, a friend saw it, and said "I wanted the camera, but you bought it first. Do you even know how to use it?"

I told him about the name & phone number inside. I told him I wanted to return it. He said I was an idiot, cos I would go to jail, cos I bought stolen goods. I was scared. So he gave me AUD200 and took the camera away. 

Now that I own a proper camera, I can totally feel the pain of losing such precious device. 

I should have returned the camera to her, right? The guilt is still lingering after years.

Wander alone like a Rhinoceros

Khaggavisana Sutta: A Rhinoceros. 

Translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

Renouncing violence for all living beings,

harming not even a one,

you would not wish for offspring,

so how a companion?

Wander alone

like a rhinoceros.

For a sociable person

there are allurements;

on the heels of allurement, this pain.

Seeing allurement's drawback,

wander alone

like a rhinoceros.

One whose mind

is enmeshed in sympathy

for friends & companions, neglects the true goal.

Seeing this danger in intimacy,

wander alone

like a rhinoceros.

The Lord Next Door

I didn't have much Indonesian friend when I was in university, one of the reason is cos I was studying in state university; most Indonesians go to private university.
I have one Indonesian classmate, naturally, we bonded well – let’s call her Ms.F. Despite our different beliefs, we still get along quite well. I even join into her Christian Church family –  the member  were 100% Indonesian. For someone who hardly see any fellow country-mate, the “Indonesian” church quickly became my sanctuary too.

One day, I was walking at university-canteen with Ms.F, I suddenly saw one of the fellow church-mate, I greeted him. As I said, not many Indonesian in my university, I sort of get excited whenever I see another Indonesian, I usually greet them.
“Hi, R!!!” 
“That’s R! I haven’t seen him for a while” – I told F
F quickly grabbed my hand, and said “Stop, don’t call him. We are no longer friends”
      Me: You? Fight with him? Why?
F: No, not me… the church. R no longer is the member of our church. He moved out
      Me: So?
F:  We cannot talk to him anymore. He betrayed our church

I was left puzzled, Ms.F was a very nice girl, she’s not the type that will make any trouble to anyone, esp because of someone’s faith.
I later found out that R, moved out to a different Christian Church – one that carry the name “Youth and Young Couple Church”
R was a graduate-student in my university. I regarded him as one of the “capable” students – a post graduate at a prestigious state university. R was much older than us, R moved out from our church because he was about to get married.

The previous church (the one that Ms. F attending) was a high school/university students’ church. The priest sermons were all about exams, assignments, tuition fee, puppy-loves, and all students’ life matters. They even held “Pre- Exam Prayers” to have Holy Spirit to guide us in our exams.
Those sermons no longer fits R. R is a good Christian, of course he has the need to go to a church every Sunday, so he chose the Youth and Young Couple Church. The exam sermons won’t fit him anymore, He need to grow up, thus he left, to find another church that accommodate his new needs – marriage, new family, babies, new job, etc.

How can it be a sin to “change” church? Why they out-casted him from his previous fellow church friends?
They pray to the same God, same Jesus, and those 2 churches even speak same language: Indonesian. Both were “immigrants” in foreign Land of Oz.

And in my years there, I saw many people come and go to different Christian churches.
Some create a new church to accommodate their spiritual needs.
Some create a new church to be the new “Real Prophet “and claim others to be fake ones.
Some create a new church to collect the 10% levy on behalf of God – which of course goes to their own personal bank account.

Would God of Church-A condemns and threaten you just because you pray to God of Church B or C or Z?
Or even give cruel curses and punishments, or even ceases the heavenly blessings for your infidelity towards churches?

If there is only 1 God, why bother competing?
We worship the same God.
Aren’t we supposed to be grateful that there are so many people believe and worship our God?
Isn’t that the whole purpose of the church’s member-get-member program?

If the Bible always claim that God is everywhere, isn’t natural that the same God is in every church?
In every human-being?
In every soul?

Same goes to Buddhists.

More! Important places in India

Apart from the Avijahitatthanani mentioned on the previous post, we also visited a few other Buddhist's important places.

JETAVANA MONASTERY

Jetavana was the place where the Buddha gave the majority of his teachings and discourses, having passed at Jetavana 19 (out of 45) rainy seasons (Pāli, vassas, a traditional time of monastic retreat), more than in any other monastery.

When the Buddha accepted Anāthapindika's invitation to visit Sāvatthi the latter, seeking a suitable place for the Buddha's residence, discovered this park belonging to Prince Jeta. When he asked to be allowed to buy it, Jeta's reply was: "Not even if you could cover the whole place with money" Anāthapindika said that he would buy it at that price, and when Jeta answered that he had had no intention of making a bargain, the matter was taken before the Lords of Justice, who decided that if the price mentioned were paid, Anāthapindika had the right of purchase. Anāthapindika had gold brought down in carts and covered Jetavana with pieces laid side by side. The money brought in the first journey was found insufficient to cover one small spot near the gateway. So Anāthapindika sent his servants back for more, but Jeta, inspired by Anāthapindika's earnestness, asked to be allowed to give this spot. Anāthapindika agreed and Jeta erected there a gateway, with a room over it. Anāthapindika built in the grounds dwelling rooms, retiring rooms, store rooms and service halls, halls with fireplaces, closets, cloisters, halls for exercise, wells, bathrooms, ponds, open and roofed sheds, etc.

It is said that Anāthapindika paid eighteen crores for the purchase of the site, all of which Jeta spent in the construction of the gateway gifted by him. The gateway was evidently an imposing structure.
The vihāra is almost always referred to as Jetavane Anāthapindikassa ārāma (Pali, meaning: in Jeta Grove, Anathapindika's Monastery). The Commentaries say that this was deliberate at the Buddha's own suggestion in order that the names of both earlier and later owners might be recorded and that people might be reminded of two men, both very generous in the cause of the Religion, so that others might follow their example. The vihāra is sometimes referred to as Jetārāma

Lighting a Candle
at Jetavana Monastery where Buddha gave majority of his teachings and discourses
having passed 19 (out of 45) vassa at Jetavana

Paradaksina at Gandakuti
circling clockwise at the remains of Buddha's Hut at Jetavana Sravasti

Embracing the Nature
near Buddha's Hut at Jetavana Monastery, Sravasti

GIJJAKUTA HILL

Located at Rajgir, the kingdom ruled during Buddha’s period by King Bimbisara and Kind Ajasattu, is located around 80 kms away from Bodhgaya. Gijjakuta Hill means the hill of vultures, a place where Buddha spent a Vasa period,  Sariputta Thero spent time meditating, and Devadatta Thero  pushed a huge stone and injured Buddha. The Buddha’s Kuti is located at the top of the hill – a square structure less than a foot in height. On our way up the hill, we saw Venerable Sariputta’s Cave, Ven. Mogallana's Cave and Ven. Ananda’s Cave.

Tip of Vishwa Shanthi Stupa
a stupa build by Japanese on the peak of other hill

The Soaring Vulture
The great stone on top resembling a soaring vulture (just its head)
gave Gijjakuta its renowned name

Candle of Ananda's Cave
The Ananda Cave located before the peak, it has a steep passage to Gandakuti on top of the hill,
making Ven.Ananda always accessible to attend Buddha's needs 

NALANDA UNIVERSITY

Nālandā was an ancient center of higher learning in Bihar, India. The site is located about 88 kilometres south east of Patna, and was a religious center of learning from the fifth century AD to 1197 AD. Nalanda flourished between the reign of the Śakrāditya (whose identity is uncertain and who might have been either Kumara Gupta I or Kumara Gupta II) and 1197 AD, supported by patronage from the Hindu Gupta rulers as well as Buddhist emperors like Harsha and later emperors from the Pala Empire.

The complex was built with red bricks and its ruins occupy an area of 14 hectares. (488 by 244 metres) Nalanda was ransacked and destroyed by a Turkish Muslim army under Bakhtiyar Khilji in 1193. The great library of Nalanda University was so vast that it is reported to have burned for three months after the invaders set fire to it, ransacked and destroyed the monasteries, and drove the monks from the site.

Ruins of Nalanda University
At its peak, the university attracted scholars and students from as far away as Tibet, China, Greece, and Persia.

India - Pilgrimage

The idea of a pilgrimage came from the Buddha himself over 2500 years ago, in answer to Ven. Ananda’s concern that the monks would no longer be able to see the Buddha and pay their respects after his Parinibbana, Buddha advised pious disciples to visit Four Places, the sight of which will inspire faith (saddha) and religious urgency (samvega) after He was gone. These places are called Samvejaniya-thana in Pali or places that arouse awareness and apprehension of impermanence.

LUMBINI: “Here the Tathagata was born! This, Ananda, is a place that a pious disciple should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence.”
BODHGAYA: “Here the Tathagata attained the unexcelled Supreme Enlightenment! This, Ananda, is a place that a pious disciple should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence.”
SARNATH: “Here the Tathagata set rolling the Wheel of Dhamma! This, Ananda, is a place that a pious disciple should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence.”
KUSINARA: “Here the Tathagata passed away into Parinibbana. This, Ananda, is a place that a pious disciple should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence.”

“And whosoever, Ananda, should die on such a pilgrimage, with his heart established in faith, he at the breaking up of the body, after death, will be reborn in a realm of heavenly happiness.”

Mahaparinibbana Sutta V, 16

LUMBINI: BIRTHPLACE OF THE BUDDHA
Lumbini is located in Nepal, about 20 km from the border town of Bhairawa, just across the Indian border crossing at Sonauli. The Buddha was born on the full-moon day of Vesak. His mother was Maha Maya, chief consort of King Suddhodana. Already 56 years old and in the final stage of pregnancy carrying the Bodhisatta for 10 full months, she was travelling to her parents’ home in Devadaha to deliver her first child following the tradition of her Koliyan clan.
Along the way, the entourage passed Lumbini Garden, a pleasure grove of Sala trees, which were then in full bloom. She decided to stop there to admire the flowering trees and plants. Soon she began to experience signs of impending birth. Quickly she summoned her female servants to cordon off the area with curtains. Then holding on to the branch of a Sala tree with her right hand for support, she gave birth to the Bodhisatta while standing up.

"Sun Shining Upon His Birthplace"

Maya Devi Temple - housing a shrine of Prince Siddharta's exact birthplace.

At front, a 3rd century Ashokan Pillar to mark the holy site.

"The Lion's Roar"

I am chief of the world,

Eldest am I in the world

Foremost am I in the world

This the last birth

There is now no more coming to be

In 249 BC, King Asoka visited Lumbini as part of his pilgrimage to the sacred Buddhist places and worshipped the sacred spot where the Buddha was born. To commemorate his visit, he built an Asokan Pillar with a horse capital and an edict written in Brahmi. Today only 6.7 metres of the pillar still stands but without its horse capital. According to ancient Buddhist literature, when Asoka visited Lumbini, he erected a brick shrine and placed a “Marker Stone” on top, to worship the exact site of the Buddha’s birth. In 1992, archaeologists started excavations at the old Maya Devi temple and discovered the marker stone pinpointing the exact spot where the Buddha was born.

Lumbini Pillar Edict Translation:

"20 years after his coronation King Piyadassi, Beloved of the Gods, visited this very spot in person and worshipped at this place because here Buddha Sakyamuni was born. He caused to make a stone (capital) representing a horse and he caused this stone to be erected.  Because the Buddha was born in here, he made the village of Lumbini free from taxes and subject to pay only one-eighth of the produce as land revenue instead of the usual rate"

Exact spot where the Buddha was born is not located at the Asokan pillar but inside this new temple built over the remains of old Maya Devi Temple, which was excavated in 1992. In the foreground is the Puskarni pond where Maya Devi washed herself before giving birth.

Inside the temple is a wooden walkway for pilgrims to circumambulate the spot where the Buddha was born.

The historical womb-shaped marker stone, which was place on top a brick shrine by King Asoka in 249 BC to worship the very spot where the Buddha was born, that pinpoints the exact spot where Maya Dewi gave birth to Prince Siddhatta. It is now inside a bullet proof glass case.

BODHGAYA, PLACE OF SUPREME ENLIGHTENMENT

Bodhgaya, where Buddha attained Supreme Enlightenment on the full-moon day of V esak in 588 BC, is the most hallowed place on earth to Buddhists. According to the Commentary, the Seat of Enlightenment (Bodhi Pallanka) at Buddhagaya is one of the four places that do not vary for all Buddhas (Avijahitatthanani).

King Asoka was the first to build a shrine at this sacred spot. In the 1st century AD, two Sunga queens enlarged the Bodhi shrine and in the 2nd century AD, the Kushan king Huviska (111-138 AD) built a temple on the site to install a Buddha image, which was then in vogue. Cunningham suggested that the entire Mahabodhi Temple as seen today follows the Huviska structure. As it was built over the remains of the Asoka shrine, the position of the Diamond throne remains unchanged. Inside the temple, one comes face-to-face with a great gilded image of the Buddha from 10th century AD seated on a patterned cushion instead of a lotus. It is supported by a pedestal, decorated with figures of lions and elephants.

"MahaBodhi Temple, Bodhgaya"

The temple was recently decorated with umbrellas of solid gold in early Dec,

adding a royal touch to the already-grandeurs temple

"Samadhi"

so still, so serene, so liberated

At the back of the Mahabodhi Temple is the Bodhi Tree under which the Buddha attained Supreme Enlightenment. It is a Bodhi/Pipal tree (Ficus religiosa), also known in Pali as ‘assattha’. The Diamond Throne is located between the Bodhi tree and the rear wall of the temple. It marks the actual spot of the Seat of Enlightenment (Bodhi Pallanka). It is said that the Buddha sat facing east with his back to the trunk of the Bodhi tree. A red sandstone slab measuring 2.3 meters long by 1.3m wide by 0.9m high now marks this holy spot.

The Mahabodhi temple in Bodhgaya is the most hallowed place on earth to all Buddhists who came from all over the world to pay homage under its sacred Bodhi tree where Lord Buddha attained Supreme Enlightenment. Shrine hall inside Mahabodhi temple showing 10th century Buddha image in earth-touching posture to signify the earth as witness to his Perfections when Mara challenged the Bodhisatta for the Diamond throne.

SARNATH, PREACHIN G OF FIRST SERMON

After spending seven weeks at the seven places in Buddhagaya, the Buddha was undecided about teaching the Dhamma that he had discovered to others. Brahma Sahampati, on reading his thoughts, implored him to teach otherwise the world would be lost without the Dhamma. Out of compassion, he decided to go to Sarnath to preach to his former companions, the Five Ascetics, who had abandoned him when he forsook the path of self mortification and adopted the Middle Path or the Noble Eightfold Path.

Travelling on foot, the Buddha arrived at Deer Park or Isipatana in Sarnath on the full-moon day of Asalha (Chinese 6th lunar month). When the Five Ascetics saw him, they were skeptical that he had realized enlightenment but the Buddha was able to convince them of his attainment. That night, the Buddha delivered the historic First Sermon, Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta or Discourse on Turning of the Wheel of Dhamma, which led to Ven. Kondanna attaining first stage of Sainthood at the end of the discourse.

"The Turning Wheel"

The very site where Buddha himself gave his first Sermon - Dhammacakkapavatana Sutta

The remaining four, namely: Ven. Vappa, Bhaddiya, Mahanama and Assaji attained first-stage sainthood successively over the next four days. Next day the Buddha preached the Anattalakkhana Sutta or Discourse on on Self, hearing which all attained Arahantship. In Sarnath too, the Buddha converted the rich man Yasa and his 54 friends, who all became Arahants. These were the first sixty Arahant disciples of the Buddha who formed the original Bhikkhu Sangha.

"Paradaksina"

Sangha to lead paradaksina/circumambulating Dhamekh Stupa as a form of respect

These events occurred during the first rainy season or Vassa. After the rains had subsided, the Buddha instructed his sixty disciples to disseminate the Teaching, no two disciples going by the same road.

Thus Sarnath became famous because of the following events:

• First sermon, Discourse on Turning the Wheel of Dhamma.

• Founding of Bhikkhu Sangha & spreading of the Dhamma.

• First Rains Retreat took place in Sarnath.

According to Commentary, all Buddhas preach their first sermon in Deer Park, Isipatana in Sarnath. It is called Avijahitatthanani or one of the four places that do not vary for all Buddhas.

KUSINARA, PLACE OF MAHAPARINIBBANA

Three months before he reached the age of eighty, the Buddha renounced his will to live at the Capala Shrine in Vesali. Travelling in stages via Pava where he ate his last meal offered by the smith Cunda, he reached the final resting-place at the Sala grove of the Mallas by the bank of the Hirannavati River in Kusinara. There on the full-moon day of Wesak in 543 BC, the Buddha passed into Mahaparinbbana, the passing away into Nibbana wherein the elements of clinging do not arise. His last convert was the wandering ascetic Subhadda. His last words to the bhikkhus were: “Handa ‘dani bhikkhave amantayami vo: Vaya-dhamma sankhara. Appamadena sampadetha.”

Translation: “Indeed, bhikkhus, I declare this to you: It is the nature of all conditioned things to perish. Accomplish all your duties with mindfulness.”

"The Morning of Mahaparinibbana"

It was a fine quiet morning when we visited,

the sun gave a touch of gold to the humble white temple

The Mahaparinibbana Temple and Stupa is the most hallowed place in Kusinara and marks the site where the Buddha entered Mahaparinibbana in 543BC.

The rear view of the Mahaparinibbana Temple showing the bell shaped Mahaparinibbana Stupa in the foreground is a low brick stupa which is believed to be the site where the Buddha entered Mahaparinibbana under the twin sala tee in 543BC

This 5th century image of the Buddha entering Mahaparinibbana is very special. It can arouse strong emotions depending on where one stands looking at it. Viewed from the middle, one can discern a mood of suffering in the face, but viewed from the head, one can discern calm and peace in the facial expression.

"Resting in Serenity"

The unique facial expression of this recumbent image captured the Bliss of Peace (Santisukha) as the Buddha enters Mahaparinibbana on his 80th birthday in Kusinara

The Buddha was accorded the funeral of a Universal Monarch. His body was wrapped in cotton and put in an iron coffin filled with oil and cremated at the Makutabandhana,the consecration ground of the Mallas.

Cremation Stupa shown here was erected by the Mallas and expanded by King Asoka during 3rd century BC later during the Gupta period.

"Sarira"

The cremation site of Buddha, where his relics were divided into 8 to the lord of each kingdoms

Finally...

A few days ago, Mom brought up the marriage topic again.
About mom's arrangements when the prince charming finally took me to his castle so I won't be on her side.

I finally told her,
I am not interested anymore
I wanted to be something else
Pursuing something different from the rest of the world
And that won't be a hubby, kids and Hermes bags

Mom said, that's not written in my fortune reading
so it will never happen

I wanna be a NUN, Mom

The Land-Owner is Back

It's been long I haven't heard from someone whom I hated so much before - the fortuneteller.
After years since my first and doomed encounter, it's only yesterday I found out more about him.
Well, I always assumed that he became a "fortune teller" to put himself out of his wealthy wife's shadow, but now I found out that he has been farming in someone else's land, out of mercy - (well, this could be cos of his "power":  "Look, I made them go away, so I can stay and do business here for free, and my superpower made me untouchable, they couldn't even ask me for any rent")

He has been milking the business for almost 15 years, for FREE - in the name of his wife, of course!!!
Last week, the rightful owner of the farm came back and claimed his land back, no previous rent fee charged.
All the owner was asking for is his land back, "You have stayed here for free long enough, it's time for you to find your own place"
Afterall, the fortuneteller has build his own fortune, right? He can just go get a new land for himself, he should have some savings, right? Plus, God knows how much he charges per consultation! (fortunetelling is just a tiny side job)

But NO!!!... the fortuneteller got furious about it, claiming "I have been sowing, thus it's only right that I am the one to harvest; Who the hell cares whose land it is?!!!"
He is now on constant campaign, asking his 'patients' to help him to get the land back. He refused to surrender it.

Surprise... Surprise...
If he could really foresee the future, shouldn't he knew it all along that the rightful owner oneday will come back?
If he really have power, why can't he stop the rightful owner? He always claim he can manipulate people and other magical beings to do whatever he wishes for.
If he really have direct access to deities, gods, goddesses... Why bothered whining to his patients? He claims to have direct hotline to heaven 24/7!!!

I might sound cruel, I don't sympathise him. He is just a lucky parasite.
All I can say is... Not only he has taken for granted such fortune he was given before, but he also being greedy for wanting to steal from rightful owner.
Some people just doesn't know how to be grateful.

"When you can't get a job, Create a job"

When 2 or more middle aged people gathered around, there's one topic that never failed to set their gear up: Matchmaking. Even if the mid-aged ones are un-married, divorced or even having a miserable, tormenting and torturing marriage, it still won't stop them to join the "sacred" conversation.

Apparently there's a mid-age unmarried man that worry about me and my 2 friends. Let's call him "uncle"
I have to admit he is a good guy, way too good that it's sometimes he underestimate others' ability, and of course there are times he is being taken advantage by irresponsible people. Although unmarried, Uncle see himself as foster father to many, this include me too...

Uncle worries a lot too, he worries that me and my 2 friends are unable to find a perfect guy, so he always set his radar ON!!!
One time, during a long conversation about matching these 3 girls to who, who and who...
He gave out some info:
1. girl #1 (tat's me)... need to find a guy more superior than me, orelse he'll feel intimidated. Hhehehe... common-sense, which girl wanna get a weak guy?
2. girl #2 has an attitude (in negative way), so he was abit reluctant to matchmake her
3. girl #3 is such a perfect girl, she'll a good wife and good mother material. Such a gentle and loving being.

Because of the uncle's analysis, I got a complaint, "Ming, why cant you be as gentle and loving as girl #3?. She'll be good wife and good mother. Why can't you be like her"

I happened to personally know these 2 girls, girl #3 is indeed very lovely, basically a princess. She can't even hold a knife to cut fruit. Get real about being good wife and mom. She'll be great throphy wife.
Of course, I can't blunt out these facts, it would make me seems like such a bitter person (maybe I am... Hahha)

But then, later on, I found out the reason why uncle was rushing to marry off girl #3
Her family is not doing very well, she's now working for her first-time-ever real-life job, with a standard salary.
According to uncle, such princess girl doesn't belong in workforce, he - as a over-worry uncle worries about the 8-5 work, seems way too hard for her.
So, to get her out of such situation, he said the best and quickest option is to find a rich dude to save the helpless damsel in distress.

Gee! after I found out the real reason why it's girl #3 that is urgently need to find a husband, I am in great relief - this's cynical. But then I don't feel so bad anymore. Hahaha

I know there's a quote saying "When you can't get a job, Create a job"

It's seems like some people interpret it differently.
My college friend wanted so much to stay in Oz rather than going back to Indo. That's totally fine, but the problem is she is not qualified enough to get an Oz-PR, and she couldn't get a job in Oz. She tried her luck in Indo, no job either for monthsss. So what happened next is she was married to a Indo-born Oz-PR. All these life-time-contract just to fulfil her desire to stay in Oz.
Even when she finally held an Oz-PR, she still couldn't find a job. So she created one.... no, she created 2. She had 2 kids, so she's a full time mother.
Not saying that being a mother is not a real job, I know it's a tough job. But if you know all these started just because she wanted to stay in Oz and her inability to find a job. It's a bit ... ugh, whatever, I really sound bitter now.
But it happened to many of my gf-s!  Well, at least they look happy on Facebook.

Logic: a BusyBody Auntie and a Fortune-Telling Uncle

A conversation occurred in a formal event I attended a few weeks ago, between a stranger 70 years old auntie and me. Btw, I dunno the auntie personally, she happened to share a table with me and other biz acquaintances.
70 y.o. Auntie: how many kids do you have?
                Me: don't have any, auntie
70 y.o. Auntie: how long have you been married?
                Me: not married yet, auntie
70 y.o. Auntie: how old are you? What's wrong with you???
                Me: (awkward smile)

                Friend #1: You know young people nowadays. Hahahaha
70 y.o. Auntie: You have to get married! What kind of life do you expect?!

Suddenly an uncle rushed into the conversation...
Uncle: ya ya... People nowadays... Ming, can I borrow your hand?
      Me: eee... No... (was really reluctant to have a fortune telling session)
Uncle: left hand, all I need is to see it. Won't touch it.
      Me: oh... Ok. What u gonna do? Fortune telling?
Uncle: Can u feel it? (So, he keep his palm opened on top of my palm... Keeping a distance)
      Me: what?
Uncle: I am sending it to you, you responded... Can u feel something like electric current?
      Me: no
Uncle: yes you can, you just refused to do so
      Me: what?
Uncle: you refused to get married because you are way too logical. A person should balance logic and feeling. You shut off all your feeling, you had a trauma before. That's why you are closing the door
      Me: eeeee... No trauma
Uncle: you cannot lie to me. I have special ability. It runs in my family, we can "read" people, can see future 
      Me: ooo.... OK

      Friend #1: now my turn!!!
Uncle: come come... You know, my whole family have the ability. 
(Doing the hand thingy again)
You are good, you are very balanced. You let you emotion rule sometimes. 
      Friend #1: can you see any traumas?
Uncle: no... Very good. Not like ming's. All just logic
      Friend #1: I have a lot of trauma... A lot. Why can't you see it?

Finally, the uncle's magic ability has brought some show, Friend #2 and 70 y.o. Auntie quickly said, "Now our turn!!!"

So that's how my friends helped me :) hehehee.

Nothing much. I laughed when he "read" me. I didn't think much of it, I know it's bullsh*t. Until the next day;
we had a fun-bike event. To cut the story short, the event was poorly organised (let's blame the lousy Jakarta EO!) and there were some accidents during the biking event, including the fortune teller uncle. He was the only one being carried into ambulance for his severe injuries: big cuts on his legs, I heard. Saw his legs wrapped up with big bandages.

So much for the special ability, should he know he would have bad injuries, he shouldn't go for the bike event, rite?
Or, probably, he gonna say, things are unavoidable.
If it's, why bothering reading it? I am not impressed at all...

The Black Monster

I once visited a friend at our neighbouring country. I stayed at her place for a couple of days there.
Once day, she took me to mall for sightseeing...
And suddenly, her 2-3 years old baby girl shrieked "MONSTERRR !!!"
My friend quickly gave her baby a hug and say... "Yes! Black Monster... It's OK, mommy is here"
They were referring to a Bangali cleaning service guy - whom were busy mopping the floor and did nothing to scare the baby.
Apparently, my friend has been teaching her daughter "to-hate/ to-be-scared" those Bangali people. The code name is "MONSTER"... "If u not eating your food, Mommy'll call the Monsters to catch you (pointing at a Bangali worker)" or "Don't run, walk with mommy, later got Monsters, how??" etc etc
The sad part is, almost all the family members named those people as "Monster". Even the grandma told me proudly "Since very young, she already don't like those Bangali. Smart girl, you know. Those Bangali are scary and filthy, like Monsters, right?". So wrong.

In my neighbouring country, it's very common to see South Asian immigrants doing "unwanted" job, ie. Cleaning service, janitor, construction worker, etc. Although, you can find some other races doing unwanted job too.

But teaching a toddler to love and hate a certain race by judging skin colour is so wrong. 

She's so young, and they started to feed her unnecessary fears. And these kids will keep in their minds and develop hatred for ridiculous reasons for the rest of her life.

Why "RESPECT LEVEL" is inversely proportional to a "MELANIN LEVEL"?

Though seems trivial, these "RACISM" issue may cause a bigger problem in longer run. Learn from us, please :(

Look, In Indonesia, despite being colonised by Dutch and Japanese for centuries, I never seen any local Indonesians hate them as much as they hate Chinese. Odd, isn't it?  (Although, I believe those jugun-ianfu will have different opinion about this)
And vice versa, Chinese hates locals. Looking down on them.

I don't know how people in the pasts whipped out this hatred. Some said, the Dutch used to give more benefits to Chinese, so the locals got envy. Some said it's the sin of our former President Suharto. I dunno how true it is, but it seems to be deeply infused until today.
And sometime it blew up, just like 1998 incident.
Both races' morons fought for someone-else's victory! They don't even realised they are being used for military for a coup trial. Stupid...!

Yet it still happens...
Local kids will call Chinese by "mocking" names. Local government official will anyhow ask for more ciggy-money form Chinese, anytime, anyhow.
When I was young, my parents forbid me to speak Chinese in public, they are scared that locals will harm me by showing Chinese traits. I think, no matter what I speak, my skin and my eyes already shows my race. Being mute won't help much.
I don't understand Indonesian Chinese either. Those super hard-core ones (I met some who can mistreat and swear about locals' race) are hardly "Chinese". I mean, they are 3rd-6th generation Chinese that no longer speak Chinese, they know nothing about China, and they never ever set their foot in China. What's China about them is merely diluted gene and their cheap mobile-phones!!!

I won't teach my younger generation to hate someone based on unchangeable things, like: you can't change your skin colour.
Ehm... (I see what you do there... OK OK, I'll rephrase it)
I guess, the proper way to say it, it'd be better not to hate anyone or anything :)
Easier said than done. But let's give it a try, shall we?

LiuBei vs CaoCao

Who would believe that a bloody story of wars-wars-and-wars in 14th century China would still be captivating, even for today.
Romance of Three Kingdoms is probably one of the literature staple for every Chinese beings at school.
I didn't have that chance, we don't have Chinese school here, rite?
Anyway, I know we are 3 years late, but the TV is playing the series now. It's cool!

So, my mom seems to favour Caocao (the antagonist) rather than LiuBei (the protagonist),
The reason is because LiuBei always-always-always reluctant to do things that it's not morally correct according to him.
Everytime he doesn't listen to his wise advisor-ZhugeLiang, he would always fail.
LiuBei somehow very dependant to ZhugeLiang. Without him, LiuBei's name would end in the first chapter of the story.
While Caocao, an ambitious man. He would do anything, everything, anyhow to achieve his goal.
Even if he need to kill innocent men, which he did casually.
Not that mom fond of a murderer. But she simply adores the strong and determined character of Caocao.
When both compared, of course Caocao seems to be more superior. Somehow all villain are superior than their hero. Don't you think?

I replied mom this way:
LiuBei is not stupid. He is smart in his own way. In today business world, LiuBei is a portray of a CEO
He might be weak, but he has 1 ultimate strength: he knows how to choose great people in his team. 
He particularly choose people who are more skilful and capable than himself. But, he knows how to utilise them.
Even a brilliant ZhugeLiang faithfully defend him after LiuBei is long gone.

I regard CaoCao as a business owner. Someone who is capable of anything - in military strategy, in poetry, in arts... in everything.
He is a one-man-show person. Everything is centralised to 1 person, himself.
Yes, of course he is more capable than LiuBei, but he need to do everything himself; while LiuBei can just sit and delegates all the chores.

Here to read more about CEO vs Biz Owner
Who is better? It's very hard to judge.
Both have their strength and their own weakness.
But it would be unfair to say one is a complete idiot, cos none of them is

Hehehehe... I think I answered it wisely and cleverly.
I was impressed too. How in the world could I say such thing. Hahahaha

At the end of the story, none of them become the winner.
The one that have all the power is grandson of SimaYi - advisor of Caocao.
SimaYi is a very smart, cunning and yet very patient man, he planned and plotted his own path right from the start. By the time, he strike a coup d'etat, he is already an old frail man.
Fate churned everything into his descendant's plate.
Without much blood on his hands, the grandson became the emperor, ending the long battle of 3 kingdoms.
Now, that's what I call "Lucky You"

Behind Religious Curtain

this brilliant comic are taken from here

It's not a rare thing to see a headline where corruptors wearing religious attributes, quoting religious verses, and speaking as if he/she a martyr. Happens in any religion, without fail!
Borrowing God's name has become a compulsory formula when you got into deep shit; it's the golden rule when you have fingers pointing at you.
We all know they are all covered with lies, yet, as a compassionate human-being, we took a pity on them.
Nodding at the ridiculous excuses, twisting brain-wire to find a loophole to escape - let's be a bit lenient, everybody has made a mistake, right?; and at the end, you just forgive because you have fallen into their melancholic drama plot.

For a conduct to be right or wrong, it's not because how correct the particular action is.
It's determined by one's mind - the way we see it

For example...
It's politically correct for a soldier to kill an enemy
But it's not correct, when a stranger killed a member of your family (for whatever reason)

For US government to have Snowden in their custody is the correct thing - that rascal has leaked US dark dirty secrets. He need to be punished, or maybe wiping him out from this world would be a better option.
But for those who loathe US' bullcrap preaching on human-rights, Snowden is their hero! They'll be cheering for Snowden's escapes. God speed, Snowden!!!

It's all in your mind. Your own illusions.
There's no absolute correctness in this world
Tweak it a bit, and you'll find million ways to twist the so-called-truth

Let the time speaks, the truth will reveal itself.

God will protect me and punish you all for the injustices you've done me.

- stated by a proven corruptor

Cupid is Here Beside Me???

A few weeks ago, a friend L leaked a news for me, it's about a sms from an uncle to another uncle, the topic is about "Find Ming a partner A.S.A.P"
I told L, that "Not interested", and said I would not respond to any uncles' matchmaking suggestion.
About this event, I told my dear friend, Dj.

This morning, all of the sudden, Dj asked me about the progress about the matchmaking. I answered "No progress, I am not interested"; though one of the uncle actually have a candidate for me, he has been trying to arrange a meeting, which I always refuse.
Dj: Have you met this guy?
Me: No. Not interested
Dj: You haven't even seen him. How would you know you are not interested in him?
Me: No... Not interested
Dj: You know, I think you have someone else in mind, hence no one else have any chance on you

Then this afternoon, a senior guy, who is known to be able to foresee the future, gave me some spoilers about my future.
He asked my age and my name, stared at me, then he said that I prefer money over love; but this year I have Cupid on my side, so it'll be up to me if I wanna accept love or not. If I passed it this year, the chance will come again in 2 years time. So, it'll be better for me to get one this year.

From these 2 guys that trying to "read" me, I would give Dj a credit. He is much better in analysing me. BINGO!!! You are right, I have someone else in mind. The Cupid have been staying for quite a while for now. Hahahha
The senior guy, I think he is just giving a blind shot. If he really can foresee  he would know that my mind is occupied. About the love-time-frame, I think it's just a mind trick.
If I believe in him, probably I'll just hit any guy that is approaching me within this year time-frame.

Despite his big name in fortune-telling, despite the grey old look, despite his troops of followers; I still would declare Dj is much better in reading people's mind. Congratz, Dj!!!
Anyway, Happy belated Valentine!!!

Ariel the Survivor

Sitting alone in a sushi bar, stuffing my face with pieces of sushi when I heard a couple of young guys sitting next to me were talking about Ariel. They are definitely out-dated, Ariel's case is long gone (2 or 3 years ago), shadowed by his booming new albums now.
But that's exactly one thing they were complaining about. Saying, how could he actually go out to the public, sing and perform again, after the shameful case.
Those guys were calling him names "muka badak, muka tembok, engga tahu malu, menjijikkan"
Well, by their sarcastic tones, I am pretty sure both have seen his sex video. I haven't, I never wanted to. But I think those guys are super intimidated by Ariel performance, on and off the stage.

I disagree that Ariel should hide himself cos of the sex-video scandal. It's his own privacy thing, if he is about to flash himself in public, it's his choice. And it's our choice to stare or to look away from it.

I dunno why people kept on yapping at him saying Ariel will bring down the whole nation's morality cos of that 1 (or more) sex videos. He has served his sentence, though I think it's an unfair one: he was sued by group of audiences (aka government) who claimed their morality were stained by the videos. His partner(s) on the videos didn't sue him, they were even defending him!!!
Those who chose to watch it almost definitely have rotten morality. Those who chose not to watch it, have a little more self-control on themselves. As simple as that. There are plenty of porn sites, videos and games out there, can't blame Ariel alone for the lust of the nation.

Observing those guys sitting beside me. The sushi's raw fishes must have given them some aphrodisiac effects, they gotta be desperate to get laid. Too bad, they can only blame Ariel for their lack of luck and their bulges' inferiority; at least they have each other for the night. Have a sweet night, boys.

I am defending my Idol

We are easily agitated, upset, angry, etc when our beloved ones attacked (or seems so).
When I said beloved ones, it's not only our parents, spouse or kids; but it includes those whom you never know or meet personally: your favourite movie star, favourite football club, political figures, spiritual leader or even an abstract religious figures.
Try saying Beckham is better than CR7, or  saying Angelina Jolie has a funny lips, or President Bush is an idiot, or saying Agmon is a kind of screaming Pokemon, or criticizing countless-wives ustadz, or  saying "imaginary friend" you worshipped is just merely a narcissistic human being with bunch of brain-damaged followers.
For sure you'll get attack by the defending fans club.

Sometimes, you don't even have to mock their idol to get such reaction; some are just paranoid to the core - forever in attacking mode, thinking they'll make a good-karma out of it.
It may sound ridiculous, you'll think that nobody as stupid as that to defend others.
But many of us, did or do so; because it sounds so right, so holy to defend our beloved ones; and it's not our fault! It's others' fault for mocking my idol! Banzai!!!

Few weeks ago, there was a talkshow in my town.
The front rows (aka VIP seats) were quite empty, while non-VIP seats were so packed.
The reason was the ushers were trying so hard to please their idol/leader, that they tried to shoo away "unpleasant guests".
Unpleasant in terms that their leader doesn't like these people.
The problem is Mr.Leader doesn't like many people, hence... the VIP area was scarcely occupied.
The ushers team was badly blamed for such stupid actions; yet they were not sorry, they were proud of their defending actions.

The unpleasant guests may think they deserve the seat, cos they have the VIP invitation cards.
The ushers may think they were doing the right thing: We do not want Mr.Leader to be upset seeing people he doesn't like.
Mr.Leader may think it was his own private Bday party, not a public talkshow
With trucks of their own excuses, these little circles claimed to be the right one, and others were the wrong one.

Step out from those filthy little circles, look at the bigger picture. All you see is a bunch of morons fighting for their delusional beliefs: the very same reason how a Holy War started.
I just don't want to be part of them.

Conned

Being conned is sucks, it leaves you with torn wallet and a big black hole on your ego.
How could I be so stupid?

The first time I go abroad to study, I was living at a dorm with multinational kids. They were friendly.
One day, a HK friend asked if I can help him, he got himself screwed by spending his money and his dad wanted him to send the bank statement back; meaning he need to get his bank account balance right. So he was short of money and asked me if I can help him. Being a nice friend, I did. and not long after that, he fled. never to be seen again. I was shocked. I was being nice and I simply get conned.
My parents didn't scold me, they just said "the money lost is for your lesson, hope you learned"

Recently, I decided to get a new car, I called up the sales girl and got a quote. I trusted her, I just bought a car from her 2 months ago, she sure knows what I have the capability to purchase more from her, hence she would give me the best deal.
I really trusted her until we had some discussion about some little details, like... what colour of accessories would I like? So trivial that I even asked my drivers to handle it. But then, I found out that she quoted me a f*cking crazy price!!!
Though abit too late, double checked the price and yes, she bluffed me, so I would buy the accessories from 3rd party now, not from her.
I asked her nicely for better price for the actual car, and she turned her back and asked me to talk to her boss. What choice do I have? I called up her boss, and the boss, of course not in good mood (assumed from his voice), but at least he gave me a better deal.
So all is good, right? NO, the sales girl got upset and defended herself saying "that's not fair, I need to talk to my boss"
WTF, making me pay extra USD2000 is definitely not fair!!! Really wanna snap on her. But ehm.... I was as calm as clam. Hahahhaa
I pretended that I dunno what she talked about, why do I have to pay extra for nothing?!
Though at the end I do get a good deal, it actually hurts that someone actually try to cheat you while you trust them

We (or maybe just me) tend to lean to others (ie: experts) for things that I am not familiar with; say like renovating a house, fixing a car, or even having a medical opinion.
My gosh, those so called experts sometimes are really experts... in blood sucking.
Little that we know that we might be bluffed. We are so reliant on them that we hardly get 2nd opinion.
and when we finally did, we realised someone been strangling our neck  and draining our wallet for so long without us to realise

The irony is that, I think I am smart enough to feel, sense, and know that I am being cheated; but the problem is that I was actually being cheated before coming to the realisation.
Not particularly amazing thing, but I consider myself lucky and smart (enough) to at least  know what I got myself into. I do know people that are conned but still thinking they are getting the best deal in the universe.

In this case, I dunno who is luckier, me or them:
I have to get through great deal of remorse to swallow the bitter fact that I've been conned and learn the damned lesson; While those suckers who never realised being conned are actually still brimming with smiles with an invisible victory wreaths on their head.

Special thanks to my guardian angel for the protections and wisdoms.
You have opened my eyes, though it's not a pretty scene that I see now, but I know the big picture will be wonderful. Thank you.

The Three Tigresses

They are famous for their skimpy dress, thick make-up, everchanging-coloured hair and obscene moves rather than their voices. I never really heard their songs before; I am not a music lover and their genre is dangdut, so it's kinda permissible that I dunno them. But I can assure you they are famous in Indonesia

So, the first time I watch and hear their voice was on a live performance.

I was invited to an event where they were the performers.

Amazingly, their voice is incredible nice, they are really good singers. and despite their crazy raunchy dances, their voices even fit for mellow songs (They sang Butiran Debu).

They sang like 10++ songs non-stop, dances non-stop; and I couldn't hear they panted at all.

But what I adore from these 3 ladies was that... they are truly professional

On one song, one of the ladies did a wrong move, so kinda put a strain on her foot... (no surprise here, they were all wearing skyscraper heels)

She quickly got up, kept on singing, walked to the audience, she's really in control of the situation.

Her friends got her cover up with more crazy dances, so people won't focus on the sprained lady.

And more thing... a very important one: their Attitude.

On one scene, they all moved up to VIP guests, asking them to sing along with - a normal interaction in such events. Many many (usually male audiences) were dying to sing with them.

Then, one singer asked a  VIP guest... "OK, miss, what song would you like to sing next?"

the VIP guest said "I dunno".

Singer: "Come on, there must be a song that you know. let's sing together"

VIP guest: Hey, you are the one getting paid to sing. not me!!! ---She answered rudely while microphone was still sticking on her mouth

The singer still cheerfully replies "Oooppsss.... oh no, how could I forgot, let's sing (saying to her friend)...get back to the stage"

I think the VIP guest was very rude... and she actually had the whole park to heard her.

But being a true professional, they took control of the situation and didn't even show any negative emotion at all.

I salute them. Behind their make up, hair-do, and skimpy dress, they are really confident and lovely ladies.

They really can sing, they really can dance, they are true performers and they are as calm as a Zen master!

Click here to see who they are :)

Where Ghost Stories Come From?

I haven't had my proper office at our new showroom yet, so I am still sharing a room with some of my staffs.
I easily overheard what they chit-chat during work.
Girl 1: Did you guys know that, "ABC" (our male staff) was locked in the toilet, twice? 
Boy 1: Really? How?
Girl 1: He just couldn't open the door, it was just locked. There's no one outside, it's just locked.
(ABC is a clumsy boy, he usually become a target of other boys' pranks)
Me: Someone is playing prank on him...
Girl 1: No... Really, there's something/someone that locked him. When he managed to get out, but no one is outside there (talked in mystery tone)
Boy 1: Did you guys smell jasmine? The smell is getting stronger here... seems like something is not right!
Girl 2: OMG, I thought it's just me! So something is really locking ABC!!!
Me: Sigh... I have a box of jasmine here, I just brought it down, gonna deliver it to temple later. I need to finish some work first.
Girl 2: No...!!! Not that, you put in box, the smell couldn't come out (spoke in mysterious way)
Me: Gee!!! I opened up the box to prevent the flower to sweat inside the box.

Gosh... luckily I am not stupid enough to lose my senses. These kids are just creating stories, and yet still manage to wet their own pants.
Many of ghost stories coming for mere imagination added with fear spices. The more they spread, the more fear-spices added into the stories.
And it got far... faraway from the real thing.
Btw, I never heard ABC complained about getting lock. and he looks totally fine to me.
I just couldn't let them create silly stories for my new premises.

Talking about ghost stories, it's funny that those who spread them are loud people, and usually comes with a brain that doesn't process much.
Last time when I was in Europe with our tour group, the bored tour leader was trying to kill sometime before we were dropped at hotel (I think he tried to buy some time, the hotel rooms were not ready for us yet)
So, he took us to drive around to see some buildings and castles. And he said "On the LEFT side is hundreds years old castle, which is now used as a hotel... bla bla bla...; and we kept on driving, and on the way back, we saw the same castle again, and the tour leader jokingly said "Ahh... magically, the castle is now on your RIGHT side"
No one really laughed at his jokes...

But the next day, a lady (Lady 1) was loudly saying "How come Western people have ghosts too? Lucky we didn't stay at that hotel, though it looks luxurious" 
Lady 2: Ghosts? What ghosts?
Lady 1: You were sleeping yesterday in the bus, didn't you? Don't you know that there's a castle full of ghosts?"
Lady 2: Castle? Ghosts?
Lady 1: Yesterday we passed a castle which is now a hotel, the tour leader said, your bed can moved from left to right when you were sleeping. You'll wake up on the other side of the room. The ghost moved your bed. I don't think there are any guests in that spooky hotel!!!
Lady 2: The left and right thing... The tour leader just made a lame joke about the castle was on our left, and we made a U-turn, and it was on our right. Nothing spooky. When did you heard about the bed moving stuff?
Lady 1:  (laughing sheepishly) Well, .... I thought he talked about ghost

WTF!!! See what I mean? These are just little example of people who loves gossips could exaggerate stories into irresponsible ones. These people should be banned from talking.
Lucky I wasn't fool enough to believe and get scared.

No Feast Lasts Forever

I read this article Wisdom in the Air: "Akhir Sebuah Pesta" on my flight with Lion Air. The smartest article I ever read from its in-flight magazine.
What a relief... I loathe their Lady-in-the-Air section, a brainless article about their attendants, last month they covered an attendant who proudly boasts she drives without license and proud of it; this month another attendant announce that she has an endangered animal - a chimpanzee as a pet, and died. Why editor, why??!!!

Sorry about my complaints, wouldn't be me without it.

Anyway, the article is written by Jemy Confindo; it is beautifully composed to describe the over-the-top wedding day phenomenon. I have to admit that he wrote down my very fear that I have for that fateful day. Maybe not really about the finance part, but seriously... I don't understand why people put so much tears and sweat just for that one day.
There's a "the-rest-of-my-life" ahead, and that one big perfect day couldn't even guarantee how beautiful my future gonna be.
It's just an illusion, just for a day (maybe a few hours, really...) and damn it... you actually pay to "amuse" your own self.

I couldn't find the article in his website, so I just take a pic of it.
I hope you can read it... maybe when he updates his website, I'll share the link.

His Wedding

A few days ago was my ex's wedding. He invited me sometime before the event, so I wanted to pay my respect to him by attending his wedding.
So I did. I flew all the way just to attend it.
I went alone, things was a bit hectic that day, so it was more convenient for me to come as a single, rather than waiting for Mr.X or Ms.Y to escort me ...
I don't trust the human let alone to trust the Jakarta's traffic

The venue hall was so nicely decorated, I bet he planned this fairy-tale wedding for years in his mind.
They looked so happy, and that's the most important thing... They looked happy, I believe, they were and are very happy.
After a good firm handshake (and ofcz after I filled up my stomach...haha), I left.

Not long, a friend called, asking:
"Are you OK?"
A: I am. Yet none choose to believe that I am OK. They expect me to be broken down in tears.

"Don't u have any feeling left for him?"
A: if either of us still do, we won't break up in the first place, right?
I know this will be hard to believe, but I choose not to hate someone I used to love. I will not make him my enemy.

"How do you feel when u see him?"
A: same feeling when I see a wedding couple. No feeling. But I am glad that he is smiling. He must be happy

"Are you disappointed that he actually marries someone else?"
A: Ofcz not. I am glad he found his love

"Be strong, k? Don't let his wedding bring you down"
A: to tell you the truth, I believe the whole wedding stuff fits perfectly into his long-dreamt-dream. As grandeous and romantic as he always wanted (or used to, at least). But those were never my dream, I'd freaked out to fit into his romantic plan.
Again, I am glad and content that he found a beautiful someone who shares the same passion, love and romantic ideas. Someone who regards him as Prince Charming.

Congratz on your wedding.
Be Happy, always
Together