The Lord Next Door

I didn't have much Indonesian friend when I was in university, one of the reason is cos I was studying in state university; most Indonesians go to private university.
I have one Indonesian classmate, naturally, we bonded well – let’s call her Ms.F. Despite our different beliefs, we still get along quite well. I even join into her Christian Church family –  the member  were 100% Indonesian. For someone who hardly see any fellow country-mate, the “Indonesian” church quickly became my sanctuary too.

One day, I was walking at university-canteen with Ms.F, I suddenly saw one of the fellow church-mate, I greeted him. As I said, not many Indonesian in my university, I sort of get excited whenever I see another Indonesian, I usually greet them.
“Hi, R!!!” 
“That’s R! I haven’t seen him for a while” – I told F
F quickly grabbed my hand, and said “Stop, don’t call him. We are no longer friends”
      Me: You? Fight with him? Why?
F: No, not me… the church. R no longer is the member of our church. He moved out
      Me: So?
F:  We cannot talk to him anymore. He betrayed our church

I was left puzzled, Ms.F was a very nice girl, she’s not the type that will make any trouble to anyone, esp because of someone’s faith.
I later found out that R, moved out to a different Christian Church – one that carry the name “Youth and Young Couple Church”
R was a graduate-student in my university. I regarded him as one of the “capable” students – a post graduate at a prestigious state university. R was much older than us, R moved out from our church because he was about to get married.

The previous church (the one that Ms. F attending) was a high school/university students’ church. The priest sermons were all about exams, assignments, tuition fee, puppy-loves, and all students’ life matters. They even held “Pre- Exam Prayers” to have Holy Spirit to guide us in our exams.
Those sermons no longer fits R. R is a good Christian, of course he has the need to go to a church every Sunday, so he chose the Youth and Young Couple Church. The exam sermons won’t fit him anymore, He need to grow up, thus he left, to find another church that accommodate his new needs – marriage, new family, babies, new job, etc.

How can it be a sin to “change” church? Why they out-casted him from his previous fellow church friends?
They pray to the same God, same Jesus, and those 2 churches even speak same language: Indonesian. Both were “immigrants” in foreign Land of Oz.

And in my years there, I saw many people come and go to different Christian churches.
Some create a new church to accommodate their spiritual needs.
Some create a new church to be the new “Real Prophet “and claim others to be fake ones.
Some create a new church to collect the 10% levy on behalf of God – which of course goes to their own personal bank account.

Would God of Church-A condemns and threaten you just because you pray to God of Church B or C or Z?
Or even give cruel curses and punishments, or even ceases the heavenly blessings for your infidelity towards churches?

If there is only 1 God, why bother competing?
We worship the same God.
Aren’t we supposed to be grateful that there are so many people believe and worship our God?
Isn’t that the whole purpose of the church’s member-get-member program?

If the Bible always claim that God is everywhere, isn’t natural that the same God is in every church?
In every human-being?
In every soul?

Same goes to Buddhists.

!ncredible !ndia

Let me help with your slippers, Mom
Any footwear is to be removed before entering the palace - Taj Mahal, Agra

Sadhu and a Trident
I assume this photogenic sadhu is a follower of Shiva, as he's a carrying a trident - the weapon of Shiva;
 taken at Ganges Riverbanks

Illumination of Ganges
Lights from the afternoon Puja at Ganges Riverbanks were so mesmerising and captivating

Sadhu
with garlands of flowers - Ganges Riverbanks

Sadhu with a modified tricycle
He moves around quite fast, actually - Hiranyavanti River, Kushinagar

Brick Ladies
The Chinese Monastery at Bodhgaya was under renovation,
instead of using carts or other devices, the ladies - not the men - walked back and forth to carry bricks on their head

The Water Gatherer
A water source in the middle of the town, on a side of a busy road
Yet, the water was so clear that people collected it.
Not sure if it's a natural water source or just a leaking water pipe

The Pilgrims
Pilgrims from all around the world come to visit Gijjakuta Hill
Here is a Tibetan lady in front of Ven. Ananda's Cave

The Vulture's Guardian
Blackfaced monkey seems to have Gijjakuta Hill - The Vulture Hill as their territory
Do not feed them, unless you want to be chased by the whole clan 

Banners of Prayer
Strings of  Prayer Banners can be found everywhere at Gijjakuta Hills
May the wind blows all the prayers for the goods' of all beings

Nuns and Flowers
It was International Tipitaka Chanting event when I visited Bodhgaya
These 2 Tibetan nuns were so pretty. Don't you think?

Wheel of Prayers
It was International Tipitaka Chanting event when I visited Bodhgaya
Here, the monk was doing it in Tantric way

In Deep Prayers
Monks and Nuns from all over the world came to Bodhgaya to attend the International Tipitaka Chanting event
Here are Burmese monks, retreated themselves in prayers, away from the crowd

Nun in a Tent
Monks and Nuns from all over the world came to Bodhgaya to attend the International Tipitaka Chanting event
Not sure why she's in a tent, maybe to avoid insects' bite

A Meal to Share
Despite carrying a gun and serious look, the security guard were generous enough to share his meals to the hungry local kids

And this's me :) pretending to read a Burmese Tipitaka. Haha!

More! Important places in India

Apart from the Avijahitatthanani mentioned on the previous post, we also visited a few other Buddhist's important places.

JETAVANA MONASTERY

Jetavana was the place where the Buddha gave the majority of his teachings and discourses, having passed at Jetavana 19 (out of 45) rainy seasons (Pāli, vassas, a traditional time of monastic retreat), more than in any other monastery.

When the Buddha accepted Anāthapindika's invitation to visit Sāvatthi the latter, seeking a suitable place for the Buddha's residence, discovered this park belonging to Prince Jeta. When he asked to be allowed to buy it, Jeta's reply was: "Not even if you could cover the whole place with money" Anāthapindika said that he would buy it at that price, and when Jeta answered that he had had no intention of making a bargain, the matter was taken before the Lords of Justice, who decided that if the price mentioned were paid, Anāthapindika had the right of purchase. Anāthapindika had gold brought down in carts and covered Jetavana with pieces laid side by side. The money brought in the first journey was found insufficient to cover one small spot near the gateway. So Anāthapindika sent his servants back for more, but Jeta, inspired by Anāthapindika's earnestness, asked to be allowed to give this spot. Anāthapindika agreed and Jeta erected there a gateway, with a room over it. Anāthapindika built in the grounds dwelling rooms, retiring rooms, store rooms and service halls, halls with fireplaces, closets, cloisters, halls for exercise, wells, bathrooms, ponds, open and roofed sheds, etc.

It is said that Anāthapindika paid eighteen crores for the purchase of the site, all of which Jeta spent in the construction of the gateway gifted by him. The gateway was evidently an imposing structure.
The vihāra is almost always referred to as Jetavane Anāthapindikassa ārāma (Pali, meaning: in Jeta Grove, Anathapindika's Monastery). The Commentaries say that this was deliberate at the Buddha's own suggestion in order that the names of both earlier and later owners might be recorded and that people might be reminded of two men, both very generous in the cause of the Religion, so that others might follow their example. The vihāra is sometimes referred to as Jetārāma

Lighting a Candle
at Jetavana Monastery where Buddha gave majority of his teachings and discourses
having passed 19 (out of 45) vassa at Jetavana

Paradaksina at Gandakuti
circling clockwise at the remains of Buddha's Hut at Jetavana Sravasti

Embracing the Nature
near Buddha's Hut at Jetavana Monastery, Sravasti

GIJJAKUTA HILL

Located at Rajgir, the kingdom ruled during Buddha’s period by King Bimbisara and Kind Ajasattu, is located around 80 kms away from Bodhgaya. Gijjakuta Hill means the hill of vultures, a place where Buddha spent a Vasa period,  Sariputta Thero spent time meditating, and Devadatta Thero  pushed a huge stone and injured Buddha. The Buddha’s Kuti is located at the top of the hill – a square structure less than a foot in height. On our way up the hill, we saw Venerable Sariputta’s Cave, Ven. Mogallana's Cave and Ven. Ananda’s Cave.

Tip of Vishwa Shanthi Stupa
a stupa build by Japanese on the peak of other hill

The Soaring Vulture
The great stone on top resembling a soaring vulture (just its head)
gave Gijjakuta its renowned name

Candle of Ananda's Cave
The Ananda Cave located before the peak, it has a steep passage to Gandakuti on top of the hill,
making Ven.Ananda always accessible to attend Buddha's needs 

NALANDA UNIVERSITY

Nālandā was an ancient center of higher learning in Bihar, India. The site is located about 88 kilometres south east of Patna, and was a religious center of learning from the fifth century AD to 1197 AD. Nalanda flourished between the reign of the Śakrāditya (whose identity is uncertain and who might have been either Kumara Gupta I or Kumara Gupta II) and 1197 AD, supported by patronage from the Hindu Gupta rulers as well as Buddhist emperors like Harsha and later emperors from the Pala Empire.

The complex was built with red bricks and its ruins occupy an area of 14 hectares. (488 by 244 metres) Nalanda was ransacked and destroyed by a Turkish Muslim army under Bakhtiyar Khilji in 1193. The great library of Nalanda University was so vast that it is reported to have burned for three months after the invaders set fire to it, ransacked and destroyed the monasteries, and drove the monks from the site.

Ruins of Nalanda University
At its peak, the university attracted scholars and students from as far away as Tibet, China, Greece, and Persia.

India - Pilgrimage

The idea of a pilgrimage came from the Buddha himself over 2500 years ago, in answer to Ven. Ananda’s concern that the monks would no longer be able to see the Buddha and pay their respects after his Parinibbana, Buddha advised pious disciples to visit Four Places, the sight of which will inspire faith (saddha) and religious urgency (samvega) after He was gone. These places are called Samvejaniya-thana in Pali or places that arouse awareness and apprehension of impermanence.

LUMBINI: “Here the Tathagata was born! This, Ananda, is a place that a pious disciple should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence.”
BODHGAYA: “Here the Tathagata attained the unexcelled Supreme Enlightenment! This, Ananda, is a place that a pious disciple should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence.”
SARNATH: “Here the Tathagata set rolling the Wheel of Dhamma! This, Ananda, is a place that a pious disciple should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence.”
KUSINARA: “Here the Tathagata passed away into Parinibbana. This, Ananda, is a place that a pious disciple should visit and look upon with feelings of reverence.”

“And whosoever, Ananda, should die on such a pilgrimage, with his heart established in faith, he at the breaking up of the body, after death, will be reborn in a realm of heavenly happiness.”

Mahaparinibbana Sutta V, 16

LUMBINI: BIRTHPLACE OF THE BUDDHA
Lumbini is located in Nepal, about 20 km from the border town of Bhairawa, just across the Indian border crossing at Sonauli. The Buddha was born on the full-moon day of Vesak. His mother was Maha Maya, chief consort of King Suddhodana. Already 56 years old and in the final stage of pregnancy carrying the Bodhisatta for 10 full months, she was travelling to her parents’ home in Devadaha to deliver her first child following the tradition of her Koliyan clan.
Along the way, the entourage passed Lumbini Garden, a pleasure grove of Sala trees, which were then in full bloom. She decided to stop there to admire the flowering trees and plants. Soon she began to experience signs of impending birth. Quickly she summoned her female servants to cordon off the area with curtains. Then holding on to the branch of a Sala tree with her right hand for support, she gave birth to the Bodhisatta while standing up.

"Sun Shining Upon His Birthplace"

Maya Devi Temple - housing a shrine of Prince Siddharta's exact birthplace.

At front, a 3rd century Ashokan Pillar to mark the holy site.

"The Lion's Roar"

I am chief of the world,

Eldest am I in the world

Foremost am I in the world

This the last birth

There is now no more coming to be

In 249 BC, King Asoka visited Lumbini as part of his pilgrimage to the sacred Buddhist places and worshipped the sacred spot where the Buddha was born. To commemorate his visit, he built an Asokan Pillar with a horse capital and an edict written in Brahmi. Today only 6.7 metres of the pillar still stands but without its horse capital. According to ancient Buddhist literature, when Asoka visited Lumbini, he erected a brick shrine and placed a “Marker Stone” on top, to worship the exact site of the Buddha’s birth. In 1992, archaeologists started excavations at the old Maya Devi temple and discovered the marker stone pinpointing the exact spot where the Buddha was born.

Lumbini Pillar Edict Translation:

"20 years after his coronation King Piyadassi, Beloved of the Gods, visited this very spot in person and worshipped at this place because here Buddha Sakyamuni was born. He caused to make a stone (capital) representing a horse and he caused this stone to be erected.  Because the Buddha was born in here, he made the village of Lumbini free from taxes and subject to pay only one-eighth of the produce as land revenue instead of the usual rate"

Exact spot where the Buddha was born is not located at the Asokan pillar but inside this new temple built over the remains of old Maya Devi Temple, which was excavated in 1992. In the foreground is the Puskarni pond where Maya Devi washed herself before giving birth.

Inside the temple is a wooden walkway for pilgrims to circumambulate the spot where the Buddha was born.

The historical womb-shaped marker stone, which was place on top a brick shrine by King Asoka in 249 BC to worship the very spot where the Buddha was born, that pinpoints the exact spot where Maya Dewi gave birth to Prince Siddhatta. It is now inside a bullet proof glass case.

BODHGAYA, PLACE OF SUPREME ENLIGHTENMENT

Bodhgaya, where Buddha attained Supreme Enlightenment on the full-moon day of V esak in 588 BC, is the most hallowed place on earth to Buddhists. According to the Commentary, the Seat of Enlightenment (Bodhi Pallanka) at Buddhagaya is one of the four places that do not vary for all Buddhas (Avijahitatthanani).

King Asoka was the first to build a shrine at this sacred spot. In the 1st century AD, two Sunga queens enlarged the Bodhi shrine and in the 2nd century AD, the Kushan king Huviska (111-138 AD) built a temple on the site to install a Buddha image, which was then in vogue. Cunningham suggested that the entire Mahabodhi Temple as seen today follows the Huviska structure. As it was built over the remains of the Asoka shrine, the position of the Diamond throne remains unchanged. Inside the temple, one comes face-to-face with a great gilded image of the Buddha from 10th century AD seated on a patterned cushion instead of a lotus. It is supported by a pedestal, decorated with figures of lions and elephants.

"MahaBodhi Temple, Bodhgaya"

The temple was recently decorated with umbrellas of solid gold in early Dec,

adding a royal touch to the already-grandeurs temple

"Samadhi"

so still, so serene, so liberated

At the back of the Mahabodhi Temple is the Bodhi Tree under which the Buddha attained Supreme Enlightenment. It is a Bodhi/Pipal tree (Ficus religiosa), also known in Pali as ‘assattha’. The Diamond Throne is located between the Bodhi tree and the rear wall of the temple. It marks the actual spot of the Seat of Enlightenment (Bodhi Pallanka). It is said that the Buddha sat facing east with his back to the trunk of the Bodhi tree. A red sandstone slab measuring 2.3 meters long by 1.3m wide by 0.9m high now marks this holy spot.

The Mahabodhi temple in Bodhgaya is the most hallowed place on earth to all Buddhists who came from all over the world to pay homage under its sacred Bodhi tree where Lord Buddha attained Supreme Enlightenment. Shrine hall inside Mahabodhi temple showing 10th century Buddha image in earth-touching posture to signify the earth as witness to his Perfections when Mara challenged the Bodhisatta for the Diamond throne.

SARNATH, PREACHIN G OF FIRST SERMON

After spending seven weeks at the seven places in Buddhagaya, the Buddha was undecided about teaching the Dhamma that he had discovered to others. Brahma Sahampati, on reading his thoughts, implored him to teach otherwise the world would be lost without the Dhamma. Out of compassion, he decided to go to Sarnath to preach to his former companions, the Five Ascetics, who had abandoned him when he forsook the path of self mortification and adopted the Middle Path or the Noble Eightfold Path.

Travelling on foot, the Buddha arrived at Deer Park or Isipatana in Sarnath on the full-moon day of Asalha (Chinese 6th lunar month). When the Five Ascetics saw him, they were skeptical that he had realized enlightenment but the Buddha was able to convince them of his attainment. That night, the Buddha delivered the historic First Sermon, Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta or Discourse on Turning of the Wheel of Dhamma, which led to Ven. Kondanna attaining first stage of Sainthood at the end of the discourse.

"The Turning Wheel"

The very site where Buddha himself gave his first Sermon - Dhammacakkapavatana Sutta

The remaining four, namely: Ven. Vappa, Bhaddiya, Mahanama and Assaji attained first-stage sainthood successively over the next four days. Next day the Buddha preached the Anattalakkhana Sutta or Discourse on on Self, hearing which all attained Arahantship. In Sarnath too, the Buddha converted the rich man Yasa and his 54 friends, who all became Arahants. These were the first sixty Arahant disciples of the Buddha who formed the original Bhikkhu Sangha.

"Paradaksina"

Sangha to lead paradaksina/circumambulating Dhamekh Stupa as a form of respect

These events occurred during the first rainy season or Vassa. After the rains had subsided, the Buddha instructed his sixty disciples to disseminate the Teaching, no two disciples going by the same road.

Thus Sarnath became famous because of the following events:

• First sermon, Discourse on Turning the Wheel of Dhamma.

• Founding of Bhikkhu Sangha & spreading of the Dhamma.

• First Rains Retreat took place in Sarnath.

According to Commentary, all Buddhas preach their first sermon in Deer Park, Isipatana in Sarnath. It is called Avijahitatthanani or one of the four places that do not vary for all Buddhas.

KUSINARA, PLACE OF MAHAPARINIBBANA

Three months before he reached the age of eighty, the Buddha renounced his will to live at the Capala Shrine in Vesali. Travelling in stages via Pava where he ate his last meal offered by the smith Cunda, he reached the final resting-place at the Sala grove of the Mallas by the bank of the Hirannavati River in Kusinara. There on the full-moon day of Wesak in 543 BC, the Buddha passed into Mahaparinbbana, the passing away into Nibbana wherein the elements of clinging do not arise. His last convert was the wandering ascetic Subhadda. His last words to the bhikkhus were: “Handa ‘dani bhikkhave amantayami vo: Vaya-dhamma sankhara. Appamadena sampadetha.”

Translation: “Indeed, bhikkhus, I declare this to you: It is the nature of all conditioned things to perish. Accomplish all your duties with mindfulness.”

"The Morning of Mahaparinibbana"

It was a fine quiet morning when we visited,

the sun gave a touch of gold to the humble white temple

The Mahaparinibbana Temple and Stupa is the most hallowed place in Kusinara and marks the site where the Buddha entered Mahaparinibbana in 543BC.

The rear view of the Mahaparinibbana Temple showing the bell shaped Mahaparinibbana Stupa in the foreground is a low brick stupa which is believed to be the site where the Buddha entered Mahaparinibbana under the twin sala tee in 543BC

This 5th century image of the Buddha entering Mahaparinibbana is very special. It can arouse strong emotions depending on where one stands looking at it. Viewed from the middle, one can discern a mood of suffering in the face, but viewed from the head, one can discern calm and peace in the facial expression.

"Resting in Serenity"

The unique facial expression of this recumbent image captured the Bliss of Peace (Santisukha) as the Buddha enters Mahaparinibbana on his 80th birthday in Kusinara

The Buddha was accorded the funeral of a Universal Monarch. His body was wrapped in cotton and put in an iron coffin filled with oil and cremated at the Makutabandhana,the consecration ground of the Mallas.

Cremation Stupa shown here was erected by the Mallas and expanded by King Asoka during 3rd century BC later during the Gupta period.

"Sarira"

The cremation site of Buddha, where his relics were divided into 8 to the lord of each kingdoms

A Spoonful of Fluffy Cuteness

Finally...

A few days ago, Mom brought up the marriage topic again.
About mom's arrangements when the prince charming finally took me to his castle so I won't be on her side.

I finally told her,
I am not interested anymore
I wanted to be something else
Pursuing something different from the rest of the world
And that won't be a hubby, kids and Hermes bags

Mom said, that's not written in my fortune reading
so it will never happen

I wanna be a NUN, Mom

Soft Shelled Eggs

Yesterday, I found an egg on the ground in the chicken coop. The White's kids' coop.
The girls already start laying: tiny eggs. I'm not sure if it'll improve its size with time - but I don't mind the size, they're perfect size for Nara.

Back to the egg on the ground, I notice it has a more pinkish hue. I thought the girls just fighting for the nest, so one of them just lay eggs anywhere.
Once my staff handed the egg to me, he said "The eggs is bad"; I held it in my hand and felt the eggs is actually fell rubbery - just like tortoise eggs! Poked it, and it's just dinted.
I was actually worried it's actually a snake's egg! Could it be?!
Hahahha, showed to Dad, and he said it happens sometimes, so it's OK to get soft-shelled eggs once in a while.

Since the egg was fresh, and I don't think it'll last for long in the fridge, and plus I was curious what it looks like inside.
Here're pics of me opening up the egg

Notice how rubbery the shell is? I actually "tearing" it rather than "cracking" it

Oh, how it tasted like? It's taste just like normal eggs.
I pour the egg into a steaming hot rice congee for my breakfast. Nice :)

The Land-Owner is Back

It's been long I haven't heard from someone whom I hated so much before - the fortuneteller.
After years since my first and doomed encounter, it's only yesterday I found out more about him.
Well, I always assumed that he became a "fortune teller" to put himself out of his wealthy wife's shadow, but now I found out that he has been farming in someone else's land, out of mercy - (well, this could be cos of his "power":  "Look, I made them go away, so I can stay and do business here for free, and my superpower made me untouchable, they couldn't even ask me for any rent")

He has been milking the business for almost 15 years, for FREE - in the name of his wife, of course!!!
Last week, the rightful owner of the farm came back and claimed his land back, no previous rent fee charged.
All the owner was asking for is his land back, "You have stayed here for free long enough, it's time for you to find your own place"
Afterall, the fortuneteller has build his own fortune, right? He can just go get a new land for himself, he should have some savings, right? Plus, God knows how much he charges per consultation! (fortunetelling is just a tiny side job)

But NO!!!... the fortuneteller got furious about it, claiming "I have been sowing, thus it's only right that I am the one to harvest; Who the hell cares whose land it is?!!!"
He is now on constant campaign, asking his 'patients' to help him to get the land back. He refused to surrender it.

Surprise... Surprise...
If he could really foresee the future, shouldn't he knew it all along that the rightful owner oneday will come back?
If he really have power, why can't he stop the rightful owner? He always claim he can manipulate people and other magical beings to do whatever he wishes for.
If he really have direct access to deities, gods, goddesses... Why bothered whining to his patients? He claims to have direct hotline to heaven 24/7!!!

I might sound cruel, I don't sympathise him. He is just a lucky parasite.
All I can say is... Not only he has taken for granted such fortune he was given before, but he also being greedy for wanting to steal from rightful owner.
Some people just doesn't know how to be grateful.

Black Chicks are Here!!!

Mrs.Black started to lay eggs last month, around the same time as Mrs.White.
I don't want more white chicks, so when Mrs. White started to get broody, I swapped her eggs with Mrs. Black's.

Here is the picture on the "Eggs Swapping Day", Mrs. White was a little reluctant when I removed her and did something to her eggs. Hahaha... Look at her expression, that fierce penetrating eyes!!!

Finally she thought "mmm... the eggs are still there, I'll sit on them". 

And she officially a surrogate mother to Black's eggs.

The pic was always in my phone, I just don't wanna jinx it. Haha

Anyway this morning, I was trying to check on Mrs. White, she wasn't very friendly, I got pecked a few times before I retreat. I don't wanna upset her.

And then, when I came back again, I realised there's black thing moving under her. 2 eggs were hatched!!!
Mrs. White did it!!! What a good mother :)

I dunno why these 2 have different feather, but both their bodies are black. I never let the White and Black together, so I can assure there's no way they inter-breed.
I am waiting for more chick to arrive. I hope... I hope, there'll be more...




PS: Now I know although the Mr. and Mrs. Black seems to fight all the time, at least they "did" it :)
#ayam cemani #ayam hitam #ayam indonesia






And what happened to Mrs. Black when I removed her eggs? I swapped them with some golf balls, so she doesn't think the nest suddenly empty. The trick worked. No sign of her getting upset.
Until today, Mrs. Black has laid 20 eggs in total, not stopping yet, more to come :)

"When you can't get a job, Create a job"

When 2 or more middle aged people gathered around, there's one topic that never failed to set their gear up: Matchmaking. Even if the mid-aged ones are un-married, divorced or even having a miserable, tormenting and torturing marriage, it still won't stop them to join the "sacred" conversation.

Apparently there's a mid-age unmarried man that worry about me and my 2 friends. Let's call him "uncle"
I have to admit he is a good guy, way too good that it's sometimes he underestimate others' ability, and of course there are times he is being taken advantage by irresponsible people. Although unmarried, Uncle see himself as foster father to many, this include me too...

Uncle worries a lot too, he worries that me and my 2 friends are unable to find a perfect guy, so he always set his radar ON!!!
One time, during a long conversation about matching these 3 girls to who, who and who...
He gave out some info:
1. girl #1 (tat's me)... need to find a guy more superior than me, orelse he'll feel intimidated. Hhehehe... common-sense, which girl wanna get a weak guy?
2. girl #2 has an attitude (in negative way), so he was abit reluctant to matchmake her
3. girl #3 is such a perfect girl, she'll a good wife and good mother material. Such a gentle and loving being.

Because of the uncle's analysis, I got a complaint, "Ming, why cant you be as gentle and loving as girl #3?. She'll be good wife and good mother. Why can't you be like her"

I happened to personally know these 2 girls, girl #3 is indeed very lovely, basically a princess. She can't even hold a knife to cut fruit. Get real about being good wife and mom. She'll be great throphy wife.
Of course, I can't blunt out these facts, it would make me seems like such a bitter person (maybe I am... Hahha)

But then, later on, I found out the reason why uncle was rushing to marry off girl #3
Her family is not doing very well, she's now working for her first-time-ever real-life job, with a standard salary.
According to uncle, such princess girl doesn't belong in workforce, he - as a over-worry uncle worries about the 8-5 work, seems way too hard for her.
So, to get her out of such situation, he said the best and quickest option is to find a rich dude to save the helpless damsel in distress.

Gee! after I found out the real reason why it's girl #3 that is urgently need to find a husband, I am in great relief - this's cynical. But then I don't feel so bad anymore. Hahaha

I know there's a quote saying "When you can't get a job, Create a job"

It's seems like some people interpret it differently.
My college friend wanted so much to stay in Oz rather than going back to Indo. That's totally fine, but the problem is she is not qualified enough to get an Oz-PR, and she couldn't get a job in Oz. She tried her luck in Indo, no job either for monthsss. So what happened next is she was married to a Indo-born Oz-PR. All these life-time-contract just to fulfil her desire to stay in Oz.
Even when she finally held an Oz-PR, she still couldn't find a job. So she created one.... no, she created 2. She had 2 kids, so she's a full time mother.
Not saying that being a mother is not a real job, I know it's a tough job. But if you know all these started just because she wanted to stay in Oz and her inability to find a job. It's a bit ... ugh, whatever, I really sound bitter now.
But it happened to many of my gf-s!  Well, at least they look happy on Facebook.