Wednesday, January 27, 2010

to Understand, Forgive and Love (again)

A dear friend, HSL recommended this book from Thich Nhat Hanh. He wrote it in simple words, no fancy terms, easily understood. I can digest the book in less than 2 hours, but to get his advices done, I might need more than 1 life time to get it done.
From the whole book, I feel that these paragraphs suits me most:
There may have been time when you could not communicate with your XXX. Although you lived in the same house, you might feel that your XXX was very distant. In this situation, XXX and you suffer. Each side believes that there is only misunderstanding, hatred and separation. XXX and you do not know that you both have the capacity to understand, to forgive and to love each other. Therefore, it is very important to recognize the positive elements that are always there in us to prevent anger and other negative elements from dominating us…
... You try to avoid XXX out of fear. You don’t want to suffer. But this can also create misunderstanding, and make XXX feel that you despise XXX. This can cause XXX a lot of suffering. You give XXX the impression that you want to boycott XXX, to ignore XXX's presence. You cannot face XXX and the same time you cannot avoid XXX. The only solution is to train yourself to be able to communicate again. Deep listening is the way…
Both paragraphs explain exactly the situation I am in now. Both can describe what happen to me and XXX,. It is funny, as if Thich Nhat Hanh is here himself to observe my situation. I guess many people are in the same situation like me.
The book explains how to unwind all these tensions. I wanted to try. But I am scared. What if I failed??? This will be my last shot. I am all gone if I lost this. I hope I can do it well without blowing my head off. I hope you know that I really love you.

1 comment:

Hendrik Sumardi said...

its not easy to do such things, ming, need courage and take control of your fear and anger