Birds of a Feather Flock Together

Over the past few weeks, I have traveled to different places for some duties. There I met those I never met before or those I haven't seen for a good while. Some of them, I've been eager to meet them. Some, I've been avoiding all my best in the past.
But for some odd reason, I wasn't comfortable to be around them, I feel slightly annoyed and out-of-place to their presence.
Not that any of them wanna hurt me, but the vibe is different

When I am around my dear one, I feel much calmer; or at least, when I am in bad mood, a dear one somehow will lead me to become calmer.
Probably because I've been reflecting on dear one for quite a while, I actually felt kinda shocked when I meet all those people, I feel very restless.
Some have the tendencies to complain, everything seems so wrong
Some have the tendencies to cruel tease
some have the tendencies to utter difficult questions just to humiliate you
Some have the tendencies to get angry to anything
etc

I realized, since I have the "seed' of the same bad habits too, if I stay longer, I would water the seeds and absorb their bad habit. And I don't what that to happen.
I need to be around people with more positive and calm energy. I wanna be a better person, flocking with the wise ones.

Javanese Girl for A Day

Last weekend was my ex-colleague's wedding. Me and 3 other ex-colleagues decided to attend the wedding in Jogjakarta, it was a good excuse for a catch-up-date after years being 'graduated' from Garud*food. So, the bride sent us a piece of fabric and asked us to make a 'kebaya'. Kebaya Kutubaru.
Kebaya is a traditional clothing for Javanese ladies, and made into 'national' dress by our previous first-ladies (all of them are Javanese, I think)

I love the idea of wearing a kebaya, I want it to be very traditional, very simple and looks like what commoners would wear in daily life. Nowadays, the commonly seen kebaya are made with lacey fabric, have a contemporary design, decorated with studs and stones... a very 'heavy' kebaya.

To add more authenticity touch, I wanted to have a classic 'konde', the big round hair-bun. Also popularized by our first-ladies. The problem is, my hair is short. Here is my pic 3 weeks ago.

A magical touch, smudges, pulls and tears finally made me look like a Javanese. Here is the before picture. I can't talk much about the heavy make-up, it is just the way they do it, but I opted for a less dramatic eye-lashes, which make me look softer compare to other 'pagar ayu' - bridesmaid.

For the hair, OMG. I don't know how much holes I made to the ozone layer that morning. Since my hair was very short, it is extremely difficult for the hairdresser tease my hair. Hair-teasing is to add volume to my hair. Look at the frizzy crazy lady with triple pig tail at the back. That's me! The triple pig-tail was to anchor the bun (I don't have enough hair for a pony tail). The bun was made from synthetic hair, so we just need to clip it on. The problem is, since I don't have much hair, I need lots of pins to secure the bun.









Despite all the crazy look above, I am pretty happy with the end result. I love the Javanese look. I really appreciate what the hairdresser's masterpiece. She spent twice longer time on me, compare to the normal long hair girls.





 





Here is my picture with the kebaya kutubaru. The 'jarik' aka. skirt was made from 1 piece of fabric wrapped around me, no stitch at all. Secured with a 'stagen', a small piece of fabric wrapped tightly around waist to give a slender illusion. It was so tight and firm that it was very hard to walk! Now I understand why Javanese girls always look elegant. Basically because they can only walk in small steps!







Here are more picture from that day. It was definitely a very fun experience to be a Javanese girl. I think I am hooked :)

Let It Go

Stuck in a traffic jam, I am starting to think about life.
What are we looking for? We've been running around for something called happiness
Here I am, sitting here, getting the answer of life's most wondered question

The ultimate answer is:  LET IT GO

You can only be happy when you let go. Happiness will come once:
- You let go of your expectation
- You let go your angers, anxiety, and worries
- You let go your ego
etc etc etc
 All seems so abstract, so cliche... Isn't it?

But what I know most is, I would be truly happy when...
I am able to let go my fart, that I've been holding (in public)
I am able to let go my toilet urges when I am stuck in bloody traffic jam
Once you experienced this, you will realize that happiness and bliss is really about letting go  

When is Your Turn?

It is finally happening, a family gathering celebrating love of my cousin. It is where I can see faces of those related to me by blood, yet I hardly recognize their faces. It is also the time where I get to be questioned, “When is your turn?”

I am the eldest of the L’s 2^nd gen that is unmarried. I am not planning to. I am very very lucky that my parents do not do an act to frame me. Love my folks!!!  As I always said, they know me well, and they probably have given up the hope of seeing me in white dress. 

The cousin next in line, wasn’t so lucky, she had her mom (my aunt) to questioned her in public, “When is your turn?”, “When can mommy have this kind of event?” etc etc etc. It is so humiliating!

I met my elder cousin who (maybe) happily-married, who questioned about my ‘singleness’. I said, “I’ve had enough, I’ve seen enough, Marriage is not my cup of tea”

And she replied me, “You have to face the fact, that this is the path that we all must take. Do not go against the current.” I am truly surprised to get that answer from someone I used to look up to. I just can’t understand why she take the ‘common’ path. She could do much bigger things. 

Anyway, the wedding was a true parade of PDA – public display of affection: series of lovey-dovey act of 2 human beings who are keen to announce to the world that they are in love. A friend asked me if I wanted to be in bride’s shoes – to be the princess of the day. The answer is, “No… I cannot picture myself parading around. Not me.” 

Maybe my dear one is correct, The Path is against-the-current. I don’t know where I am now. I am standing here, not flowing with the current, yet not strong enough to fight it. I am stuck, for the moment.

Monsters Away

I somehow always keep the bad memories close to me. I marked those who have hurt me, I build fences around me. I do not plan on revenge, and will never will. I just hide, putting more and more brick in front of me, building a wall to protect me. To protect me from those who has stepped on me, spit on me, smearing my face, my dignity, and my sanity.

But meeting them is unavoidable, every now and then, as a human being, I need to and forced to face those monsters. Fear, that’s what I feel. The moment I know that I have to see those monsters, I trained, I prepared myself, I put on defense-mode. No, I don’t attack them, I just put on my shield.

On the fated day, they gathered around. I see those monsters; they come nearer to me, licking their lips, sniffing the blood stain on me. I have prepared, I stood up, put my head against the wind, see them in the eyes. I am here, I am much stronger now, I will succumb to your torture and humiliation no more. They tried to scratch, a lame one, maybe they realized I am no longer a weak victim. Though some still tried to stab me with swords, it becoming a cold fish lying dead, those bullies cheerleaders were too afraid to add more insult to the lame blabber. I realized, those regular monsters, they finally sense who I am. 

There is this one monster, the one I fear most. I used to freak out and cried every time I hear the hiss and rattles of the evil monster. It greeted me, walked towards me, squeaked "Hello". It was testing the water… I need to be composed in public, I nodded coldly. The whole day, I can see the monster kept its eyes on me, that bloody sneaky hungry eyes. It tried few times to drawn me again with no success, until the end of the night. I was sitting alone, and the monster crept close to me, hissed, and flicked its split tongue “Hello, how are you? Are you fine lately…?” I smirked “Good” and look away, I gave no chance for it to voice out more blinding bull-craps. In no time, the monster vanished. 

Maybe it finally realized, I will no longer feed it… I no longer acknowledge those monsters.

What is the purpose of life?

I once renounced the world for a few days... It was the best time of my life
But now that I am back in the "crazy" world, I am drawn back into the world of illusions and fantasies. I forgotten the pure pleasure I once had before. Just like drinking the seawater, the more I drank, the more thirsty I am... it becomes a additive toxic

Yesterday, a death happened. A death that has been predicted to arrive, sooner or later. I would say, it is sooner than others'. But yes, it is predicted, he finally gave up to the incurable disease. I am not here to mourn or to cry. I am trying to reflect...

During his life, what has he done?
Has he served the purpose of his life?
Has he fulfill all his dream and desires?

What is the purpose of life?
What are we here for?
Why are we running in never-ending circle finding something called happiness... and yet can never own it forever?
WHY?
-----------------

A minute ago, he is still alive... the next minute, he merely a piece of matter, left alone to be burned. No matter how much he was loved, he is no longer wanted.
For some, the world crumbled for a while. And yet, the sun still rises in the morning, the world still spinning as it always been.
And soon, he will be forgotten, as if he never exist in this world.
The world doesn't even notice our existence.
We are just as small as a fraction of dust in the universe, so insignificant.

Gym!!!

My fear and my hope finally conquered me.
I gave up... I joined a local gym club, I hired a personal trainer and this is day 4
My body aches...so bad. Need to melt these fat away!!!

To avoid my previous mistake, I do not take my PT's personal phone number, I do not get his full name, I do not get any mean of contact from him. Cause I know, I will make excuses and skip the class. Hehehe

Look what happened today, my old gym shoes gave up on me. Before I started my gym membership, I checked on my old faithful running shoes, which was hardly used before. But, she's been around for ages. So, she was OK 4 days ago, I checked on it... everything still intact. I have no clue why she just fall apart today. So embarrassing. Hahahhaa....

Injured Hawkbill Hatchling

Mike's first days... mark the open wound on his head and arms

On the night of 4th July, my dive instructor was patrolling around his island to check on a turtle nest that he secured 2 months ago. It was predicted that it will hatch on that very night. No sign... so we started digging, anxious if there were any survived.  After a bit of digging, we found 4 baby turtles, alive... 1 quite healthy, 2 injured, and 1 terribly weak.
We released the healthy one straight to the sea. The weak one died soon after. and the 2 injured one was kept in a container of shallow water. But one of them died the day after.

Only 1 left, we named him... 小强 -Xiao Qiang (The Tough/Strong One) or Michael.
I didn't name him, it was the guests and my instructor naming him. We don't actually know his gender.

When I brought him home to the town, we carried a full container of sea water, so we can change it everyday. Mike was terribly weak, when we found him, his left arm was injured, he cannot move it at all. He got some cuts on his neck and left arm. We didn't even sure if he will survive the next day.

But, he really was a tough one. I force-fed him with turtle food from petshop. I need to make sure he eat something. And it works. He get stronger, and starting to nibble on some seaweed/sponge that I brought. At least he has an appetite for the sponge.

Mike's weight (gr) on 4th July vs. 10th July 2015

Be strong, Little Mike. Hope to swim together with you :)
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20th July 2015
Couldn't manage to get this writing posted before I left for Festive escape...
Before I left, I passed Mike to my instructor care. He took care until this morning... he released Mike free into the wild. We didn't want Mike to be human-dependent for too long, he need to learn about the sea.
Mike was much healthier, both arms in well condition, and he swam fast...
I wasn't there to witness, and there was no video taken
I am kinda broken-hearted, not able to bid farewell to the little one
I just hope one day we will cross path again

Baby Hawksbill Sea Turtles Hatching

I haven't been diving for months, been so busy...
Last week, I did again. Gosh, how much I miss touching the water
This time, I didn't puke. Hehehe...

That day, I was supposed to leave, but I am really grateful that we decided to stay for 1 more night.
Thanks to my instructor to allow it too...
That night, we found out baby green turtles were hatching...

So, what happened is that... in the islands, every now and then, there will be turtles' making nests there. None ever succeed to hatching stage. The island was inhabited by monitor lizards, who happened to favor turtle eggs too (apart from human, I guess)

2 months ago, my instructor - Mr.B, found a few nests on the island, and he removed the nest site to somewhere nearer to resort's security's hut. Monitor lizards and humans won't come close to the area. Making it safe for the eggs. Certain measures were taken to ensure successful incubation.
So on that night, 15 babies walked out of the nest. we waited for more to come out, then we realized... none were coming out, we started to dig the nest to find more babies are struggling to come out of the nest. Rain made the sands a bit packed, making hard to penetrate.
We had extra 65 healthy babies, and 2 still born.
We release them to the sea in the middle of the night. We took a night dive to capture their first journey. It was so beautiful and serene.
I don't know how many of them survived that night, I hope some of them will reach adulthood. Life in nature can be really harsh. Some baby sharks were already waiting by the shores.

What we can do now is to protect more nest, more eggs, and hoping more and more babies will be released to the sea. And may I see them again on my next dive.

Here are some of the video... we weren't prepared, thus the poor quality. But it's the moment that counts!

13th June in Paris

In the past few month, I have been traveling a lot... a lot
My last trip was a basic shopping trip: Paris & Milan. Mostly Paris.
There is a place there that is a must-visit: Gallery Lafayette

I didn't say that it's a must visit because it is the greatest, the biggest and the most fancy department store in the whole Paris.
I say that because it seems like... all tourists are drawn to this place only. I was there on a fine afternoon and the dept store was flooded with human

People are queuing for a fancy bag, having a big-built 'bouncer' to let people in and out (when they already made purchase). People are queuing for a tax refund paper works, and more people queuing for getting the tax refund on the premise

It is very interesting to examine the behavior...
It is so easy to see which country prosper this year. Most of the people there are Mainland Chinese.
A lot of them. Unlike HK-nese or TW-nese, I am NOT against anything about Mainland Chinese shopping spree. They have the right to spend whatever theirs. Won't judge, I am glad for them.

But seriously, that place was super crowded, the department store should have done something about it. It's just not comfy anymore.

Retreated from the hustle and bustle of the busy and chic Paris, I end up sitting at the corner Gallery Lafayette's Gourmet department - enjoying my quiet Bday soba, with Mom.
There goes another year... Happy Bday myself :)